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THE 

COURTESY BOOK 


BY 


NANCY DUNLEA 


DRAWINGS BY 
DOROTHY SAUNDERS 


And trust thy honest-ofifered courtesy. 

Which oft is sooner found in sheds 
With smoky rafters, than in tapestry walls 
And courts of princes, where it first was named 
And yet is most pretended. 

—Milton 


BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 
CHICAGO 



Copyright, 1927, by 

BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 






PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 

©C1A1018108 


FOREWORD 


G ood manners should be taught to very 
young children, and the inculcation of the 
principles and practices of polite society 
should be continued throughout the whole period 
of adolescence; indeed it should not stop with the 
adult, but become a habit to follow one through¬ 
out life. 

Good manners ought to be taught at home, and 
are the more easily inculcated by force of example. 
But when parents are ignorant of, or indifferent 
to, the courtesies of domestic life—deference to 
one’s elders, chivalrous attention of the masculine 
to the feminine, the helping hand to the smaller 
and weaker ones, repression of one’s own selfish¬ 
ness and tender of kindly offices at table and in 
the daily goings and comings—when these cour¬ 
tesies are quite disregarded by the elders, it cannot 
be expected that children will show the gentle¬ 
manly and ladylike traits of good breeding. 

So that, if normal courtesies and conventions of 
etiquette are not taught at hoprie, it becomes doubly 
necessary that the school strive to make amends. 
Else it will happen that in the crucible of the 
schoolroom and playground the mixture of good 
[ 3 ] 


Foreword 


manners and bad will result in lowering the aver¬ 
age rather than raising it. 

Children somehow learn evil from each other 
more readily than good. But that is because no 
child is ideal to another child. Juvenile ideals are 
the grown-ups. The father and mother first have 
most influence over the growing child, the school 
teachers next, and thereafter other older persons of 
distinction and accomplishments. 

Politeness is not natural to children, because 
every child is a little savage and a bigger barbarian 
before it can be civilized. In a land of independ¬ 
ence and of struggle to attain the high prizes, the 
amenities of self-denial in little things are an ef¬ 
florescence of later life. Good manners should be 
the accompaniment of learning. They deserve to 
be incorporated as a course of study from kinder¬ 
garten to university. 

Margery Rex 

The Los Angeles Evening Herald, 

Los Angeles, California 


[4] 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

A Gentleman. 7 

True Courtesy . 11 

Courtesy in Conversation. 15 

Family Courtesy. 21 

Good Table Manners. 25 

Courtesy in an Audience. 31 

Manners on the Street Car. 37 

Courtesy in the Schoolroom. 41 

Telephone Courtesy . 47 

Real Courtesy Instead of “Put on” Manners ... 53 

Business Courtesy . 57 

Curiosity and Courtesy. 61 

Good Taste in Dress. 65 

The Boaster . 71 

The Way to Do Favors. 75 

Courtesy to Guests. 79 

Courtesy in Visiting. 85 

Giving Invitations . 89 

Replying to Invitations. 93 

Directing People Courteously. 99 

[5] 





















Contents 


PAGE 


Courtesy in Shopping . 103 

About Apologies. 107 

The Courtesy of Cheerfulness . Ill 

Little Everyday Courtesies. 115 

The Courtesy of Punctuality. 121 

Index . 125 


[6] 








A GENTLEMAN 


I KNEW him for a gentleman 
By signs that never fail; 
His coat was rather rough and 
His cheeks were thin and pale— 
A lad who had his way to make, 
With him little time for play— 
I knew him for a gentleman 
By certain signs to-day. 


He met my mother on the street: 

Off came his little cap. 

My door was shut; he waited there 
Until I heard his rap. 

He took the bundle from my hand. 

And when I dropped my pen, 
He sprang to pick it up for me. 
This gentleman of ten. 


He does not push and crowd along; 

His voice is gently pitched; 

He does not fling his books about 
As if he were bewitched. 

[ 7 ] 


A Gentleman 


He stands aside to let you pass; 

He always shuts the door; 

He runs on errands willingly 
To forge and mill and store. 

He thinks of you before himself; 

He serves you if he can; 

For in whatever company, 

The manners make the man. 

At ten and forty ’tis the same; 

The manner tells the tale; 

And I discern the gentleman 
By signs that never fail. 

—Margaret Sangster 


[ 8 ] 


THE COURTESY BOOK 


















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TRUE COURTESY 


True courtesy is real kindness kindly expressed. 

—Witherspoon 


W HAT do you think a courteous manner is? 
Do you think putting on very nice man¬ 
ners is courtesy? No; real courtesy is not 
put on. It is just being polite and considerate of 
others every day. 

That is why a courteous manner is always quiet 
and simple. A person with a courteous manner 
talks in a medium tone of voice, does not giggle or 
fidget or have affected airs of any kind. A cour¬ 
teous person is quiet on the street or in any public 
place. He or she does not annoy others in any 
[ 11 ] 







The Courtesy Book 


way, nor attract attention. The polite person does 
not talk too much neither does he say just yes and 
no. Being pleasant and amiable but not forward, 
gushing or conceited, is the way to try to have a 
courteous manner. 

Trying to please others is part of true courtesy. 
Sometimes we please most by keeping quiet and 
minding our own business and sometimes we are 
most considerate when we offer help to people. 
Young people especially should be on the lookout 
to do favors quietly for older people. It is part 
of courtesy to help elderly people on street cars, 
or across a crowded street, to carry luggage for 
them, and to see that they always have the best 
seats that can be found for them. True courtesy 
is thoughtfulness. 

It is part of courtesy to be polite to our family 
and also to anyone who serves us, whether it is a 
clerk, a dressmaker, or the operator at the tele¬ 
phone. We never make a mistake, you know, in 
being polite to everyone. “Good manners come 
from a good heart.’' 

Very noticeable, too, in courteous manners is the 
way people enter and leave a room. One should 
always knock before entering a room where an¬ 
other person is when the door is closed and wait 
for permission to enter. Courteous people always 
open and close a door with as little noise as pos- 
[ 12 ] 


True Courtesy 

sible. They also seat themselves quietly, after 
others are seated. 

In public a courteous manner also means con¬ 
sideration for others. To try to push in ahead of 
a long line of people waiting for tickets or anything 
else shows the worst possible manners. 

Then a polite manner includes, of course, such 
usual courtesies in words as “Please,” “Thank 
you” and “Excuse me,” when stepping in front of 
another person. To be courteous, a simple, pleas¬ 
ant greeting such as “Good morning” or “Good 
evening” to those we meet is also expected. Punc¬ 
tuality, good table manners, and showing special 
consideration for unfortunate, crippled, sick or 
elderly people are some of the most necessary 
things, if we would have a courteous manner. 

Answering questions politely, giving directions 
or information as helpfully as we can whenever 
asked, is only everyday courtesy. 

Every kind of a letter requires courtesy, whether 
we are writing to a friend or just a short business 
letter to a stranger. To write briefly and yet so 
politely that the letter seems kind and fair is a 
real test, for a very short note may be so abrupt 
that it would sound to the reader who does not 
know us or see how we mean it, curt, rude or even 
angry! 

What other things do you think are everyday 
[13] 


The Courtesy Book 

courtesies that we should all take the trouble to 
remember ? 

Points to Remember 
Courtesy is not ‘‘put on.” 

A courteous manner is quiet and unaffected, al¬ 
ways, in all places. 

A courteous person is sincere and modest. 

To be courteous is to be kind and helpful. 
Politeness to be genuine must extend to all we deal 
with. 

Courtesy means consideration for others. 
Politeness in speech is necessary. 

Courtesy is shown also in writing letters. 


If your lips would keep from slips, 

Five things observe with care: 

To whom you speak, of whom you speak. 
And how, and when, and where. 


[14] 



COURTESY IN CONVERSATION 

How sweet and gracious, even in common speech, 

Is that fine thing which men call Courtesy. 

—James T. Fields 


I T IS important to be polite in conversation, 
because most of us talk a great deal to each 
other every day. 

The first thing to think about is the tone of the 
voice. If we use a harsh, sharp or a sullen tone, 
no matter what nice things we say, they will not 
sound polite. If we talk fast, in a high-pitched 
voice, or “through our nose,’’ this too is disagree¬ 
able. One can tell a well-bred person at once by 
the sound of his or her voice, because he or she talks 
[15] 





The Courtesy Book 

in medium tones, neither very high nor very low. 
A good talker pronounces words carefully, also. 
To be careless about pronouncing words, or to be 
in a hurry and mumble, or bite off last syllables, 
or leave otF final consonants shows ignorance as 
well as bad manners. Do not say “talkin’ ” for 
“talking,” nor “singin’ ” for “singing.” Say 
“Yes,” not “Yeh.” 

In the same way be careful to pronounce vowel 
sounds correctly. Say “You,” not “Yuh”; 
“Catch,” not “Ketch”; “Can,” not “Kin”; “His¬ 
tory,” not “Hist’ry.” 

Here are two points to observe when we read 
aloud: to use a smooth, pleasant voice, and to pro¬ 
nounce words clearly so others will be sure to un¬ 
derstand them. 

Now, if we use our voice politely, we shall not 
use it too much! Even grown-ups talk too much, 
sometimes. The polite person always listens to 
other people at least half of the time. It is both 
conceited and selfish to want to do all the talking, 
and if we get into the habit of talking a great deal, 
people are apt to form the habit of avoiding us, 
for they get very tired if they have to listen all the 
time! Besides, if we talk too much, we lose the 
chance to hear others tell things that would be in¬ 
teresting and teach us something new, perhaps. 

Of course, if we are talking with older people, 

[ 16 ] 


Courtesy in Conversation 

we must listen most of the time, for they are en¬ 
titled to this courtesy. We must always let them 
speak first, and if two people happen to speak at 
once, the older person has the “right of way”; that 
is, should have the chance to speak first. No one 
should be interrupted in talking until he or she 
finishes and pauses. If one should make the mistake 
of interrupting, one should say, “Please excuse 
me,” at once and let the other person finish. Never 
contradict or dispute what anyone says. You may 
express your opinions with moderation, however, 
when to do so will not wound or offend others 
present. 

If you fail to hear something, do not say 
“What?” Say “I beg your pardon; I did not un¬ 
derstand,” or “I am sorry, but I did not hear.” 

Another thing to think about in polite conversa¬ 
tion is what to talk about. It would seem conceited 
to talk much about one’s self. Of course, if we are 
asked especially about ourselves, that is different. 
But to talk about poor health is in bad taste, be¬ 
cause it is unpleasant and uninteresting to almost 
everyone. If our intimate friends inquire about 
our health, we may answer; but even then we should 
not talk a great deal about it, if we really want to 
be agreeable and popular. 

The most polite talker is the one who talks about 
what he or she thinks will be interesting to others. 

[17] 


The Courtesy Booh 


It is rude when in company to talk about some¬ 
thing some of those present do not know anything 
about. If the subject must be talked about, a 
polite person always explains it, before talking to 
all, to the one who does not know about it. 

Have you not been in places where people would 
talk about good times or other things you did not 
know about? You had to sit and listen and wonder 
what it was all about. Probably more people are 
thoughtless about this than impolite on purpose. 
But “truly polite is always polite.” 

One must be careful, also, about the kind of 
questions one asks in conversation. Personal ques¬ 
tions are considered very ill-mannerly. These are 
questions about people’s private affairs, such as 
how much money they have or make; why they do 
certain things or anything that would be likely to 
hurt their feelings or offend them. Can you think 
of things it would be impolite to ask about ? 

Just to say “Yes” and “No,” when carrying on 
a conversation is almost as impolite as to ask too 
many questions. Why, do you think, this is so ? (It 
is always rude to say “Yes” or “No” without some 
other word to make it less abrupt, such as “Yes, 
it is,” or “No, I don’t think so.” And then it 
sounds, too, as if we were not interested or paying 
attention to others who are talking, which we must 
do, if we would show courtesy. 

[ 18 ] 


Courtesy in Conversation 

Indeed no one who is courteous talks about any¬ 
thing he or she thinks will be disagreeable to others. 
If people have had a defeat or misfortune, it is only 
kind to be silent about it, unless we are sure we can 
say something that will encourage. Do not laugh 
at the mistakes or failures of others. Never sneer 
at anyone. 

Repeat to your friends the pleasant things you 
hear said of them and try to forget the unpleasant 
ones. 

What topics are best avoided in general con¬ 
versation? (Religion, politics, horrible accidents, 
crimes, and again, self and poor health.) 

What do you think are good subjects to talk 
about? (Current topics, books, education, school, 
sports, music, art, science, a pleasant vacation, trip 
or holiday, pets or a funny experience.) The 
weather is always considered a polite and safe thing 
to talk about. Why, do you think ? 

Points to Remember 

We must use gentle, quiet tones in speaking. 

Words must be pronounced correctly and dis¬ 
tinctly. 

People who talk too much are avoided. 

The courteous person is a good listener. 

Do not interrupt a person speaking. 

Never flatly contradict anyone. 

[19] 


The Courtesy Booh 

Never dispute or quarrel. 

Do not talk too much about yourself. 

Do not talk about ill health or sorrow. 

Do not talk about things unknown to some of 
the company. 

Do not ask personal questions. 


Nay, speak no ill! A kindly word 
Can never leave a sting behind; 

And oh! to breathe each tale weVe heard 
Is far beneath a noble mind. 


[ 20 ] 



FAMILY COURTESY 

The habit of being courteous is the outgrowth 
of home practice. 

W E should be the most courteous of all to our 
family. Why, do you think? 

The most important reason is that our 
family deserves it most of all. Its members are 
our best friends when we are glad or sad, sick or 
well. Be obedient to parents, kind and respectful 
to all of the family. 

Of course, too, all older people should receive 
extra courtesy, such as the best chair and the first 
serving at meals. Boys and girls are judged by 
their behavior to their elders. 

[ 21 ] 






The Courtesy Book 

Family courtesy is doing whatever saves others 
trouble. For example, getting up in the morning 
and coming to meals promptly saves some one 
waiting on the table a second time. 

Keeping one’s word is another necessary thing 
to save trouble. Suppose we agree to do an er¬ 
rand and then forget it, perhaps we make the 
whole family suffer by having to go without some¬ 
thing planned for a meal. Again, if we promise 
to come home at a certain hour and fail to do so, 
we of course worry members of our family. 

One of the commonest ways in which people are 
impolite to their own families is by being indiffer¬ 
ent. When we go right on reading a book when 
one of our family asks us to do something, we are 
indifferent. We would not think of doing the same 
way when somebody we especially admired talked 
to us while we were reading, would we? Instead 
we would jump right up and be just as interested 
as could be. A pretty good test of whether we are 
treating our family as politely as we should, is to 
ask ourselves if we are treating them exactly the 
same as we would treat company. 

It is a good idea, too, to have this rule about our 
dress. Of course we should not wear our best 
clothes every day, but we should be courteous 
enough to our family to be neat and clean, espe¬ 
cially when we come to the table. It is impolite 
[ 22 ] 


Family Courtesy 

not to be tidy when we eat, because it may spoil 
the meal for others. Never present yourself at the 
table with soiled hands and face or uncombed hair, 
nor be the first to be seated. 

Selfishness, more than anything else, makes us 
impolite to our family. If we would just stop and 
think how we ourselves would like the same treat¬ 
ment, perhaps we would try to be more thoughtful. 

For example, the way we answer some member 
of our family when we are busy, or in a hurry, is 
not always polite, is it? Haven’t you heard a 
brother or sister say “Uh-hum,” and then walk 
away without paying much attention? To walk 
away while anyone is talking is very rude. Then 
the tone of voice that we use either in talking or 
answering others in our family needs to be watched, 
if we are going to learn to be polite. The way we 
say a thing counts really more than what we say. 
If we say, “Yes, I will!” in an impatient or angry 
voice, it sounds rude. “Yes, I will,” spoken pleas¬ 
antly, can be very polite. 

Another thing to notice in talking to members 
of our family as well as to friends is politeness over 
the telephone. Just because we know our own 
people well is no reason, is it, why we should say, 
“Hello, I won’t be home to supper,” and then hang 
up? Instead, if we are polite, we ask if this is 
“Mother,” or the one we want to speak to, and 
[ 23 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

then give our name, if necessary. Members of a 
family would know each other’s voices, of course, 
as a rule. Then when we are through talking we 
should say “Good-by” politely. To hang up a 
telephone receiver in a great hurry is almost as bad 
as slamming a door in a person’s face. 

Another way to be polite in our homes is to do 
favors cheerfully, when asked. Golden Rule cour¬ 
tesy should make us remember that we need to ask 
others, sometimes, to do favors for us. So, when 
we are asked to do a favor, we should do it just the 
way we would like to have things done for us. 

In some families—especially among the children 
—there is a great deal of arguing and wrangling. 
Children start to argue just for fun, but they 
usually end by getting angry and quarreling. If 
one cannot talk about a subject without getting 
angry, one should not talk about it at all, for two 
reasons. One is that one should learn self-control, 
and the other is that this wrangling makes it un¬ 
pleasant for others. No civilized person enjoys 
hearing quarrels. 

Points to Remember 

Be prompt; be neat; be attentive. 

Be true to your word. 

Be cheerful in doing favors. 

Be courteous in conversation. 

[ 24 ] 



GOOD TABLE MANNERS 

Eat at your table as you would eat at the table of a king. 

—Confucius 

I T IS said that nothing shows so much how well 
brought up a person is, as his or her table man¬ 
ners. 

Sometimes one hears some one ask, “What dif¬ 
ference does it make if one holds a spoon a certain 
way?’' Or, for example, “Why is it wrong to but¬ 
ter a whole slice of bread instead of little pieces, 
just as one is ready to eat it?” Yet “manners are 
not useless.” There is a good reason for every 
rule of table manners. Sometimes the reason one 
does a certain way is because it is the handiest, most 
graceful way, instead of being clumsy, for in- 
[ 25 ] 











The Courtesy Book 

stance in holding knives, forks or spoons with the 
left hand, or with the elbow sticking in somebody’s 
way. 

Again, the reason for behaving a certain way at 
the table is so as not to give offense to others. If 
people eat noisily, spill food, blow their noses, 
cough, or fuss with their clothes at the table, they 
may disgust others so much it will take away their 
appetite. This is selfish, isn’t it? So that is why 
our table manners must be correct, if we would be 
truly courteous. If one has a cold and it is neces- 
sary to use a handkerchief, one should leave the 
table, if possible, asking to be excused. There is 
no excuse, of course, for eating noisily, because if 
we take only a reasonable amount of food or liquid, 
we shall have no trouble swallowing. Some people 
are careless about sipping soup noisily from a soup 
spoon and when this happens, others are apt to 
make fun of them. And of course people who 
have not good table manners are considered ill- 
bred. 

Well-bred people come quietly to the table. They 
seat themselves in an easy, upright position, do not 
lean back in a lazy manner, nor put their arms or 
elbows on the table. They wait for their elders to 
be seated first, if there are older people present. 
After all are seated, they wait a minute before un¬ 
folding their napkins or taking a drink of water. 

[ 26 ] 


Good Table Manners 


There are two reasons for this: One is that it is 
impolite to hurry and appear greedy, and the other 
is that “grace,’’ or thanks, comes before eating in 
some families. W^hen everyone is ready, polite 
people unfold their napkins, leaving one fold as 
the napkin lies across the lap. (It is only very 
small children who tuck a napkin in at the neck!) 

People who have good manners hold the knife 
and fork properly. The knife is never used to 
carry food to the mouth, but only to cut it up into 
small mouthfuls. Then they place it upon the plate 
at one side and take the fork in the right hand and 
eat all the food with it. 

When both knife and fork have been used finally, 
they should be laid diagonally across the plate, with 
both handles toward the right hand. 

When food is passed or asked for, polite people 
say “Please” and “Thank you.” (It is not con¬ 
sidered good form, now, to say, “I’ll trouble you 
for so and so.”) Well-bred people do not rattle 
their dishes or knives and forks, nor stir soup or 
things to drink. Neither do they soak their food or 
make unpleasant remarks about it. They don’t eat 
frosting off cake and leave the rest, nor leave 
crusts of bread or sandwiches. When they eat 
fruit or fish, they carefully take the stones, seeds 
or bones out of their mouths with their thumbs and 
fingers. To spit them out would be disgusting. 
[ 27 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 

After a meal in their own homes they fold the 
napkin neatly in the creases and place it beside the 
plate. A guest at a single meal does not, of course, 
fold the napkin. No one leaves the table before 
a meal is over, without asking to be excused for a 
good reason. Hurrying in any way at the table is 
both greedy and impolite. 

When in company, the best way is to use knives 
and forks just as the hostess does. But if one prac¬ 
tices good table manners every day at home, one 
will not be likely to make a mistake in company. 

Do not put too much food into the mouth at one 
time; chew your food slowly and noiselessly, with 
the lips closed. 

Wipe the lips with the napkin before drinking 
from the glass. 

When passing plate for second helping, lay the 
knife and fork together at one side of the plate, 
with the handles to the right. 

Do not ask for food when others are being 
served. Respond promptly and politely concern¬ 
ing your choice of food. 

Always take soup from the side, not from the 
tip of your soup spoon. Bread or crackers should 
not be broken into soup. 

Never help yourself to butter or any other food 
with your own knife or fork. 

Do not mess your food on your plate. 

[ 28 ] 


Good Table Manners 

Salt should be left on the side of the plate, never 
on the tablecloth. 

Do not pick your teeth at the table. 

Do not sit too near the table, for if you do you 
wilj not be able to use your knife and fork without 
inconveniencing your neighbors. The elbows must 
be held well in, close to one’s side, which cannot 
be done if the chair is too near the board. 

Never bend over the plate or drop the head to 
get each mouthful. 

If an accident happens at the table, such as 
breaking a dish or spilling coffee, apologize to your 
hostess and do not be unduly distressed about the 
matter. The well-bred hostess will make no fuss 
about such a thing, but will adjust the damage at 
once, courteously. If your hostess does not observe 
the difficulty you are in, repair it as best you can 
and then ignore it. 

Do not interrupt the conversation at the table, 
and when guests are present do not entertain your 
parents with complaints of your brothers or sisters 
or companions. 

Do not talk about anything unpleasant or dis¬ 
turbing. Do not refer to sickness, filth, crime, vice, 
reptiles or vermin. 

Can you name some things that you think are 
bad table manners? How should these things be 
done instead? 


[ 29 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

Points to Remember 

Use the knife, fork and spoon the right way. 

Be quiet, neat and orderly at the table. 

Do not tuck your napkin in at your neck. 

Do not rattle dishes or silver. 

Do not keep your spoon in your cup. 

Do not use your own individual silver to help your¬ 
self from a dish that is passed. 

Do not take anything from your mouth except 
fruit pits or seeds, or bits of bone. 


The Goops they lick their fingers, 

And the Goops they lick their knives. 
They spill their broth on the tablecloth— 
Oh, they lead disgusting lives! 

The Goops they talk while eating. 

And loud and fast they chew; 

And that is why I’m glad that I 
Am not a Goop—are you? 

—Gelett Burgess 


[ 30 ] 


COURTESY IN AN AUDIENCE 

A beautiful behavior is the finest of the fine arts. 

—Emerson 

W HEN we are in public our manners are 
noticed by more people than at home. So, 
if we wish people to have a good opinion 
of us, we shall take extra pains to be courteous. 
When we are in an audience people judge our char¬ 
acter by our consideration for others—our man¬ 
ners. 

If we are noisy, or if we do any of the little 
things that distract the attention of others from the 
entertainment, we make a nuisance of ourselves. 
What things do you think we ought not to do when 
we are part of an audience? 

[ 31 ] 
























The Courtesy Book 

I will name some things that spoil other people’s 
pleasure when they want to listen—talking, whis¬ 
pering or giggling, moving around noisily in one’s 
seat, standing up, turning around, chewing gum, 
munching candy, cookies, fruit, or eating anything, 
in fact; yawning or rattling a program or any 
paper. 

Sometimes when we do these things, we do not 
realize that it spoils the good time of other people 
who are present. But it is not fair, is it, to do 
anything noisy or annoying, so others cannot lis¬ 
ten? They may have paid money to hear the en¬ 
tertainment or come a long way to see it. 

For this reason, too, it is thoughtless to come in 
late to any audience; for just coming in and the 
rustling of clothes, the sound of footsteps and get¬ 
ting seated may spoil the view, or make so much 
noise that an especially soft and beautiful bit of 
music cannot be heard, or a sentence may be lost. 

Once at a concert where the great pianist Pade¬ 
rewski was on the program, some people came into 
the auditorium right while he was playing a piece, 
instead of being polite and waiting until he had 
finished and entering between numbers. Pade¬ 
rewski rightly felt that he had been insulted. He 
stopped playing right in the middle of the piece. 
Then he stood up on the platform and called, “Mr. 
Usher, hasn’t the door been closed?” 

[ 32 ] 


Courtesy in an Audience 

Many thought he would not play any more to 
an audience, members of which were so impolite. 
But after waiting five minutes for these thought¬ 
less people to be seated, and everyone to become 
quiet, he went on with the program. It would 
have been too bad, wouldn’t it, if these selfish people 
had stopped the whole concert for those who really 
wanted to hear Paderewski? For many of the 
people there had waited hours in line to secure 
tickets and then paid considerable money for their 
seats, as Paderewski is, of course, a world famous 
artist. If he had refused to play any more, the in¬ 
nocent would have had to suffer with the guilty; 
and that is often the case where only one person is 
selfish in an audience! 

What do you think is the most courteous way 
to listen to music? “Nature has given to men one 
tongue, but two ears, that they may hear from 
others twice as much as they speak.” Why should 
we not hum the tune or beat time with our hands 
or feet? 

Do you know that musicians always have to 
study hard a long time to make good music ? When 
we listen to a musical program we should remem¬ 
ber that the musicians who are giving it have spe¬ 
cially rehearsed for it a long time beforehand. It 
is not polite, is it, when they have taken so much 
pains to fit themselves to entertain us so delight- 
[ 33 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

fully, not to listen? It is just the same as if we 
did not thank people who have tried to do some¬ 
thing nice for us. How many of you play the 
piano, violin or some other instrument? Do people 
ask you to play a piece for them sometimes ? How 
would you like it, if they talked or did not pay 
much attention, while you played? This is the 
reason it is impolite to yawn, or do anything that 
shows we are not interested when people play 
pieces for us. 

Even if we do not like the particular music that 
is played, if we are polite, we shall listen just as 
quietly and attentively as if it were our favorite 
piece. For others who are listening in an audience 
may enjoy it very much and want to hear every 
note of it. When people in an audience do enjoy 
a piece on the program they usually encore it, which 
means clapping the hands to ask the musicians to 
be kind enough to do it again. 

Did you know there were two ways to encore 
anything you want to hear or see again at any 
entertainment? One way is a noisy way that is con¬ 
sidered extremely ill-mannerly, a rowdy way, in 
fact. When people get excited and forget them¬ 
selves they sometimes applaud by stamping on the 
floor with their feet and whistling and calling out. 
Sometimes this discourtesy displeases the ones who 
are performing so that they will not appear again. 

[ 34 ] 


Courtesy in an Audience 

The polite way to encore is to clap the hands to¬ 
gether and do nothing else. This pleases the per¬ 
former, who understands, then, that the audience 
likes the number so well that they want to hear 
it again. It is like saying, “Thank you,” and it is 
always polite to thank anyone for what he or she 
has done for us. So it is polite to show thanks by 
clapping the hands at an entertainment. The only 
time not to clap is at a religious or church service. 
This is different because it is not an entertainment. 
At church well-bred people show reverence for sa¬ 
cred things by quiet attention. 

No matter how pleased we may be at any enter¬ 
tainment, it is not fair to stand up, because this will 
prevent those behind us from seeing. In almost 
every audience, now, everyone is expected to take 
off his or her hat so that people sitting behind can 
get a better view. 

If we have to be late in an audience, or to leave 
early, it is only fair to others to take a back seat. 
Then our coming and going will not disturb or be 
so noticeable to so many people. If we have to 
come or go during the program we should be just 
as quiet as we can and tiptoe in and out. 

The next time you are in an audience notice the 
most polite people there and see if you cannot be 
just as quiet, attentive and unselfish as the really 
well-bred person is. 


[ 35 ] 


The Courtesy Book 
Points to Remember 

Do not talk, whisper or giggle in an audience. 

Do not stand, move about or turn around. 

Do not eat candy or chew gum. 

Do not rattle your program or other papers. 
Listen attentively and courteously to the program. 
Do not whistle, stamp the feet or call out. 

At a religious service we may not make any sign or 
sound to show like or dislike. 

If you arrive late at church or leave early, be sure 
to enter or leave quietly. 


Do you wish the world were better? 

Let me tell you what to do. 

Set a watch upon your actions. 

Keep them always straight and true. 
Rid your mind of selfish motives, 

Let your thoughts be clean and high. 
You can make a little Eden 
Of the sphere you occupy. 


[ 36 ] 


manners on the street car 

Actions, looks, words, steps, form the alphabet by which 
you may spell character. 

H OW do you think people should behave on 
the street car? Do you think they should 
crowd and push to get on, squeeze and 
jostle people in the aisles to try and get the best 
seat, or a seat next the window? And then talk 
and laugh so loudly that everyone notices them? 

No! Of course no well-bred person would behave 
like this, for “There is always time for courtesy” 
and every young person will always see that no 
elderly or crippled person has to stand, while he or 
she is seated. A boy should never remain seated 
if there are girls, women or elderly men standing. 
[371 


















The Courtesy Book 

Instead he will get up immediately, touch his hat 
and ask, “Won’t you have this seat?” 

Sometimes people are careless about thanking 
those on street cars who give up their seats, but 
this is really no reason why a young person should 
fail to be thoughtful and polite, for politeness is 
truly a habit and there always comes a day when 
we are glad that we have the habit! 

Sometimes we should help people on or off a 
car. A woman with a baby in her arms or an 
elderly person loaded with packages always appre¬ 
ciates a lift, and sometimes the conductor is too 
busy to help. When some one drops something, as 
people frequently do when they are in a hurry to 
get oif, one should pick it up as quickly as pos¬ 
sible to give it to the owner before he or she gets 
off the car. 

To laugh at others on the street car is very rude. 
People who have any misfortune, such as a deform¬ 
ity, or poor clothes, cannot help themselves, and 
even though they may look funny, it only makes 
them suffer more to be made fun of. Just think, 
for a minute, how you feel when you make a mis¬ 
take, and think how much worse you would feel, 
if you were laughed at for something you could 
not help. 

It is not polite to stare or point at anyone on the 
street car or in any public place. Nor is it good 
[ 38 ] 


Manners on the Street Car 

manners to do anything that will make people stare 
at us! If we chew gum, eat candy, move around a 
great deal, talk or laugh loudly, we are apt to at¬ 
tract attention. Do you think it is admiring atten¬ 
tion? No! The chances are that people either think 
we are very ill-bred, or are making fools of our¬ 
selves ! 

One must be very careful, indeed, what one 
talks about on the street car, for if one talks about 
personal things, such as one’s clothes, food, ex¬ 
penses, troubles, failures at school, sickness, or 
quarrels, one is only amusing other people at one’s 
own expense! It is in bad taste to discuss other 
people, either people riding with us on the car, or 
our own acquaintances. One woman very un¬ 
wisely talked over a friend with a companion seated 
by her on the street car, who repeated exactly what 
she had said to the friend—and the result was not 
pleasant. 

Girls, especially, should be careful not to gossip 
on the street car. They are often made fun of for 
saying ‘T said” and “He said” in public places. If 
they wish to be considered well-bred girls, they 
should talk in low tones about general matters. 

It is only a very foolish person who has words 
with the conductor. A girl who chatters to him, 
exchanges glances and smiles with him, makes a 
fool of herself before everyone on the street car. 

[ 39 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

And the kind of conductor who smiles at girls 
has a poor opinion of those girls, because he thinks 
they are free and easy! Boys or others who argue 
with a conductor are also very foolish and ill-bred. 
If the conductor asks people to step inside to let 
more passengers get on, he is doing his duty. If he 
cannot give a transfer or charges extra fare, he is 
again following the rules of the company and is 
not himself responsible. Anyone who argues over 
such matters with a conductor attracts unfavor¬ 
able attention to himself. 

Points to Remember 

Give your seat to elderly or crippled persons or to 
women carrying babies. 

Boys give their seats to girls or women. 

Do not laugh at others’ misfortunes or errors. 

Do not appear to notice deformity or disfigurement. 
Do not laugh at mistakes. 

Do not stare. 

Do not point. 

Do not laugh or talk loudly. 

Do not argue about fares or transfers. 


The words which thou hast uttered 
Are of thy soul a part. 

And the good seed thou hast scattered 
Is springing from the heart. 

—Whittier 

[ 40 ] 



COURTESY IN THE SCHOOLROOM 

Liberty exists in 'proportion to wholesome restraint. 

—Webster 

I F WE are going to be polite in any place, we 
should first act the way we are supposed to act 
in that particular place. For example, when 
we are at a party, we are supposed to be having a 
good time. So we should act as if we were enjoying 
ourselves. When we are in church we are quiet, to 
show our reverence for sacred things; when we are 
on the street, we show courtesy by paying strict 
attention to what we are doing, so we will not run 
into other people. We act all these different ways 
in different places because there is always a certain 
way to act in a certain place. Haven’t you heard 
[ 41 ] 










The Courtesy Book 

people say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans 
do”? That is what is meant, to behave as one is 
supposed to do in each special place. 

How do you suppose one should behave in the 
schoolroom? Should one make a noise or attract 
attention to one’s self? What do we come to school 
for? To learn! And of course, to learn, we have 
to work by studying. So, to be really polite in the 
schoolroom, the thing to do is what one is supposed 
to do—to try to learn by studying. 

When one is learning from the teacher, it is only 
polite to pay good attention. Isn’t it impolite to 
her, when she is talking, to talk at the same time, 
to whisper or fool with pens or pencils, erasers, 
papers or books on our desks? How would we 
like it, if she did not pay attention when we talked 
to her? Suppose she whispered to somebody all the 
time we were talking, or wrote notes, or fired spit- 
balls every time our back was turned? 

What do you think is the most polite way to 
speak to a teacher? Should we say something like 
this: “Say, Teacher, may I be excused?” or would 
this be better, “Miss Smith, may I be excused?” 
The latter way is the correct way to address a 
teacher, calling her by her name and not “Teacher,” 
which sounds babyish, doesn’t it ? We wouldn’t say 
to the man who sells us meat, “Say, Butcher,” or to 
the grocer, “Say, Grocer,” would we? Neither 
[ 42 ] 


Courtesy in the Schoolroom 

would any teacher say to us, “Say, Boy,” or “Say, 
Girl”! So you see it is only fair to others to be at 
least as polite to them as they are to us. 

There is a story of a poor old colored woman 
who said very politely to George Washington, 
“Good morning, sir.” 

He answered, “Good morning, madam,” and 
took off his hat just as politely as if she were the 
President’s wife. Somebody asked him why he 
bothered to do it. He answered, “I would not let a 
poor old colored woman outdo me in politeness!” 

What do you think is the most polite way to 
treat other pupils in the schoolroom? Is it not to 
be studious and polite ourselves, and thus set a 
good example ? If we have learned a lesson, it is not 
fair, is it, to bother others who still wish to study, 
by whispering or trying to act funny? Isn’t it bet¬ 
ter if we have extra time, to learn something more ? 
We can do this by reading ahead in our geography 
or reader, and sometimes the teacher will lend us 
a book, if we ask her. Or, if we are not good in 
spelling or writing, we now have a chance to study 
spelling or practice writing. 

The boy or girl who excels or fails must remem¬ 
ber to be courteous. Do not boast when you win 
in a contest. Do not whine when you are beaten in 
a contest. Be a “good sport”! 

When a pupil recites, what is the most courteous 
[ 43 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

way for others to act? Yes, we should listen. It is 
unkind and rude, it shows ignorance, to laugh at a 
mistake. Because we all make mistakes and none 
of us likes to be laughed at. We only show that we 
are ill-bred and ill-natured, if we can’t keep from 
laughing when somebody is embarrassed. 

What other things do you think we should do in 
the schoolroom to be polite? Being regular in at¬ 
tendance, being on time, neat in our dress and with 
our desks, books and the papers we hand in to the 
teacher, and obedient as soldiers, are the best ways 
to “play fair” with both our family who send us 
to school, and the teacher who is trying to help us 
become educated. 

What do you think are impolite habits in the 
schoolroom? What do you think of the boy or girl 
who eats lunches when the teacher isn’t looking, or 
chews gum and then sticks it onto something where 
another person is likely to get stuck with what he 
or she has had in the mouth ? What do you think of 
the older boy or girl who teases or bullies a younger 
child? 

Do you know that a teacher can tell, usually, 
what kind of a home and family children come 
from, by their manners in the schoolroom? If chil¬ 
dren are untidy and impolite, she doesn’t think 
they come from a good home. But if they are clean, 
if they pay attention and try always to talk politely 
[ 44 ] 


Courtesy in the Schoolroom 

both to their schoolmates and the teachers, she 
knows that they are naturally refined and come 
from a good home. 

Nobody is too poor to be polite. It doesn’t cost 
anything. And no one is rich enough to be rude, 
for this makes many enemies. 

In the assembly you will be judged by your man¬ 
ners. Your social training or the lack of it will be 
apparent in this gathering of your fellow-students. 
If you would be a credit to your home and school 
instruction in these gatherings, you will need to 
observe the rules laid down. Obey signals 
promptly, refrain from whispering, giggling or 
fussing with hair or clothing. Do not turn your 
head to look behind you. Do not leave until the 
assembly is dismissed, if you can avoid doing so. 
Listen attentively to all that is said from the plat¬ 
form, or to any program that may be given. 

In the corridors and the classroom remember the 
rule of the road and keep to the right. Keep your 
desk in order and your belongings in place. Do 
not borrow pencils, pens, paper or books without 
permission. 

On the playground enter into the games with 
zest. Whether you win or lose, be a “good sport.” 
Do not complain or explain, if you or your side 
loses. You will always have another chance. Do 
not gloat or exult if you win. 

[ 45 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 

Points to Remember 
Be quiet and studious. 

Do not whisper or trifle with pencil or paper. 

Call your teacher by her name, when you speak to 
or of her. 

Use spare time for study, not for idling or “cutting 

up.” 

When another pupil recites, listen quietly. 

Do not make fun of your schoolmates, or of any¬ 
one. 

Keep your desk in order. 

Be obedient to your teacher. 

Play fair on the playground. 

At all times be open and honest. 

Be polite in school. 

Be a “good sport.” 


’Tis the rule of the road that when travelers meet 
In highway or byway, in alley or street, 

On foot or in wagon, by day or by night. 

Each favor the other and turn to the right. 


[ 46 ] 



TELEPHONE COURTESY 

Words once spoken can never be recalled. 

—Roscommon 

D id you ever stop to think that people 
show their real selves most of all when using 
the telephone? 

Some people think just because the person at the 
other end of the line cannot see them and does not 
always know whom he or she is talking to, that it 
matters not how impolite they are! This is the rea¬ 
son they answer the telephone with an abrupt, 
snappy “Hello!” that sounds something like this: 
“Why do you bother me ?” And when they find the 
person calling is a stranger, or is some one who has 
called the number by mistake, they are as rude as 
[ 47 ] 

















The Courtesy Book 

can be. They fairly snarl, “No, this is the wrong 
number!” or use just impolite “noes” and “yeses” to 
every question asked, instead of saying courteously, 
“This is (giving number). You have made a mis¬ 
take.” 

Then the person who calls a number by mistake 
is not always as polite as he or she ought to be, when 
some one else has been put to the trouble of answer¬ 
ing the telephone for his or her own carelessness. 
Think, when you call the wrong number sometime, 
that perhaps you have made some one leave im¬ 
portant business, wake up from a nap, hurry from 
a bath, or perhaps made some busy mother leave 
the baby to run down a flight of stairs, while per¬ 
haps she left a cake to burn in the oven besides! 
Do you always apologize for making extra trouble ? 
The best way is to say, “I am very sorry to have 
troubled you. I thought I was calling (giving the 
number).” One does not feel so annoyed then. 

What is the right way to telephone? Suppose 
Alice Mason goes to telephone to Edith Wilson. 
Now first, Alice will ask Central for the number in 
this way: “Fairfax 2389 . — Yes, 2389 , please.— 
Hello, is this Fairfax 2389 ? Is this the Wilsons’? 
Yes? — This is Alice Mason. Is this Edith? No? 
— Would you kindly call her to the telephone? 
Thank you. — Hello, is this Edith? — This is Alice 
[you must name yourself at once]. I called up to 
[ 48 ] 


Telephone Courtesy 

ask if you have read ‘Pollyanna.’ — No? Well, 
I am wondering if you’d like to read it. I have a 
copy and have so enjoyed the story. — Yes, you 
may come over in a half an hour to get it. I’ll be 
home. Good-by.” 

Alice didn’t talk about anything but her busi¬ 
ness. How long do you think it took her to ask 
Edith about the book? Well, probably not over 
three minutes. That is really as long a time as any¬ 
one should use the telephone, because it is some¬ 
thing that so many people need to use for impor¬ 
tant business. 

Have you ever noticed that where they have pub¬ 
lic telephones in stores and stations, there is usu¬ 
ally a sign above the telephone that reads: “Con¬ 
versation limited to three minutes”? So a short 
conversation, not over three minutes, is part of tele¬ 
phone courtesy. To monopolize a telephone line is 
exceedingly selfish, for it may prevent some one 
who is in pain from calling a doctor, for example. 

When we telephone over a private line that con¬ 
nects at both ends with private homes, five minutes’ 
talk is really as long as it is polite to hold the line. 
Friends do not hang up first when we have called 
them, as it would not be polite for them to do so. 
But we may have called them at a time when they 
are busy and so the call is very bothersome. So the 
most polite thing is always to be as brief as possible 
’ [ 49 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

over any telephone. We can and should limit our 
talk to things we have to say, instead of talking 
about things that will keep just as well until we 
meet our friends face to face. 

It is very unwise, too, to talk about our private 
affairs over the telephone. We never know who 
may be “listening on the line,’’ even accidentally. 
What is the courteous thing to do when you pick 
up a telephone receiver and hear some one else 
talking? Yes, to hang up, of course. It is never 
honorable to listen to what others do not intend for 
us to hear, and the person who uses the telephone 
courteously will always try to be patient when wait¬ 
ing for another person to “get off the line.” It is 
very bad manners, don’t you think, for some one 
who wants to hurry another off the line to click the 
receiver up and down on the hook, whistle or make 
other noises. Worse still—and a sure sign that one 
has no manners at all—is to make impolite remarks 
addressed to the people using the line, saying such 
things as, “Get off the line, I want to use it!” and 
even ruder things than that are said sometimes by 
ill-bred people. Such things show what one is at 
heart, for it is only a cowardly person who says 
things over the telephone that he or she would not 
dare to say to people’s faces. 

That is why using the telephone shows, as I said 
at the beginning, people’s real selves; for the genu- 
[ 50 ] 


Telephone Courtesy 

inely well-bred person is always polite, even when 
not obliged to be. And the selfish person drops off 
manners when he or she thinks they won’t count. 
But manners always do count. Just the habit of 
being polite over the telephone helps make us 
polite in other places where we shall feel happy 
when others say, “They have such good manners.” 

The next time you see a really courteous person 
telephoning, notice that such a one speaks the 
number promptly and clearly to Central in a pleas¬ 
ant voice; does not blame the operator for not 
answering or failing to get a number when it is 
likely that weather conditions have put the tele¬ 
phone out of order. And such a person never talks 
any longer than is absolutely necessary! 

In talking over the telephone remember that it 
is not necessary to raise the voice. Speak distinctly 
in a voice of ordinary pitch and volume. 

Do not call up your friends frequently; do not 
visit over the telephone. If you are using a party 
line, do not forget that others may be waiting to 
get the line for important messages. Boys and 
girls who monopolize the wire show lack of con¬ 
sideration for the rights of other people. 

It is very improper for boys to hold girls in con¬ 
versation over the telephone for long periods dur¬ 
ing the evening hours, as is so often done by 
thoughtless youths. Girls should excuse them- 
[ 51 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 

selves and hang up, if the talk continues over the 

three-minute limit. 

Points to Remember 

Treat the operator politely. 

Be polite in speaking to friend and stranger alike. 

If a wrong number is given, do not be impatient or 
rude. 

If you are called to the phone, reply quietly. 

If you have called the wrong number by mistake, 
apologize for the trouble you have given. 

Be brief. 

The one who has called up is the one to close the 
conversation. 

Do not talk about private affairs. 

Never “listen in.’’ It is dishonorable. 

Do not try to get the line away from another who is 
using it except in extreme cases. Apologize if 
you feel compelled to ask for the line. 

Do not say things you would not say in talking 
face to face. 

A very great part of the mischiefs 
that vex the world arise from words. 

—Burke 


[ 52 ] 



REAL COURTESY INSTEAD OF 
“PUT ON” MANNERS 

Politeness is to do and say 

The kindest thing in the kindest way. 

A LADY once said of a little girl, “She has 
very nice company manners/^ Have you an 
idea what she meant? 

She meant, sad to say, that while the little girl 
remembered to be polite when in company, she for¬ 
got to be just as courteous in her own home. And 
you know, “Truly polite is always polite.” 

The person who is really polite does not put 
manners on and off whenever he or she takes a no¬ 
tion, because courteous people always have good 
manners, no matter where they are or with whom 
they are. 


[ 53 ] 












The Courtesy Booh 

Just because we see the members of our family 
every day is no reason at all for our being impolite 
to them. Indeed, when we are with people a great 
deal, we need to be more considerate than ever in 
our manners, otherwise we are likely to have an 
unpleasant time. Quarrels in families are really 
caused most of the time because the different mem¬ 
bers have dropped their “company manners.” 
When we forget, at home, little courtesies such as 
saying “Good morning,” “Good-by,” “Please” 
and “Thank you,” to close doors softly, to have 
good table manners, to dress neatly and remember 
always to give up to older people, we are the kind 
of people that have only company manners! 

The worst of it with manners that are only “put 
on” when we want to show off, is that we haven’t 
put them on enough at home to make them seem 
natural. The person who is awkward, clumsy and 
embarrassed in company is apt to be that way be¬ 
cause he or she hasn’t practiced good manners at 
home. Manners that are “put on” instead of being 
real ones used every day, for everybody, are just 
as hard to fit nicely as a pair of new gloves. You 
know when gloves are worn every day, they are not 
much trouble to put on. It takes only a little time 
and thought to put them on. So with real manners, 
it takes a little time and thought to use them every 
day at home, but they go on so much easier for 
[ 54 ] 


Real Courtesy Instead of ''Put On' Manners 

company! People who are accustomed to being 
polite always, because they have been taught good 
manners at home, are called thoroughbreds. It 
should be the aim of every boy and girl to be a 
thoroughbred. 

Good everyday manners, too, make everybody 
happier. Even we ourselves feel better when we 
know we have been helpful and kind. And being 
helpful and kind in our own family is a great deal 
more important than showing off our manners in 
public with a big bow or some other little act that 
does not require any special self-sacrifice. We 
sometimes forget that courtesy is really nothing 
but being thoughtful of others. If we have really 
good manners, we shall be thoughtful about all 
the little courtesies right in our homes. 

Other people, too, frequently judge our courtesy 
and our character by noticing if we always have 
good manners on all occasions. If our manners are 
only “put on” in some place where we are “show¬ 
ing off,” they may think we are false or selfish. 
Well-bred boys or girls are never rude or ugly to 
other children who may be younger or who are 
poor or unfortunate. The bully is always a coward. 

The person who hasn’t really good manners, be¬ 
cause he or she is selfish at home, is apt to want 
the best of everything, to speak rudely, to cause 
others trouble and to be generally a nuisance. 

[ 55 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 

Can you name some things people do at home 
that show they have forgotten true courtesy? 

Now can you name some other things that people 
do at home, or might do, that show they are truly 
polite through and through at all times—in other 
words that they are thoroughbreds ? 

Points to Remembek 

At home courtesy prevents quarrels. 

“Put on” manners are not truly courteous. 

Good manners make us happier. 

Little courtesies in the home come from thought¬ 
fulness. 

We are judged by our manners. 

A selfish or greedy boy or girl is disliked. 

A tease or a bully is looked upon as hopelessly 
underbred. 


Manners are not like clothes—something to be put 
off and on—one set for home and work and another 
set for company. Our manners should be like the 
skin of our bodies—something always with us—a 
part of us, the same for all occasions and always to 
be kept clean and healthy. 


[ 56 ] 



BUSINESS COURTESY 


Politeness is simply a fine regard and respect for the rights, 
feelings and property of others. 


B usiness courtesy is a combination of be¬ 
ing pleasant and yet as brief as possible. The 
very word business means “busy-ness.” So 
consideration for others, which is the root of all real 
courtesy, should make us take just as little as pos¬ 
sible of a business person’s time. 

Somebody has said: “Call upon a business man 
in business hours. State your business in a busi¬ 
ness-like way. When done with business matters, 
go about your business and leave the business man 
to attend to his business.” Don’t you think that 
a good rule? 


[ 57 ] 








The Courtesy Book 

If we stopped to visit during business hours, a 
great deal of the important work of the world 
would not be done. Sometimes, through politeness, 
or just because a business man knows us socially 
outside of business, he will chat pleasantly with us. 
But this does not mean he can spare the time. It 
means that he is taking extra pains with us, and 
must sacrifice some other thing in his work to make 
up the day’s output. 

The person who is inexperienced in business may 
make the mistake of impolitely taking more time 
from business people than they can spare. 

The person who has worked in business places 
knows how much time is wasted by people who 
come in and talk about other things than the busi¬ 
ness they have come for. Indeed some people try 
to visit with business people in business hours. This 
is unfair, for business people, of course, don’t want 
to be impolite and ask not to be bothered. But if 
visitors come often or stay long, they must work 
overtime, or perhaps they will be discharged for 
loafing! Think of this the next time you feel like 
chatting with some friend who is a clerk in a store 
or bank, or an attendant in a library where other 
people are waiting to be waited upon, for people 
paid money for work are expected to be working 
“during business hours.” 

All of us have to ask favors of business people. 

[ 58 ] 


Business Courtesy 

Perhaps we telephone to ask if they have goods, be¬ 
fore we take the trouble to go downtown. When 
we do this, we should take pains to speak plainly 
and say in a few words what we want. It is our 
place to have our minds made up before we tele¬ 
phone, so as not to hold the line, or take up time 
from people already in the store. It is courteous 
always to introduce ourselves over the telephone, 
when we ask any business man for information. 
The reason is a good one. A stranger who asks 
questions may be a rival in business and trying to 
get ideas to copy. So it is only fair to let a busi¬ 
ness man know who we are, so that he can answer 
us right to the point. 

Also when we go into a business place, it is cour¬ 
teous to introduce ourselves and state briefly why 
we came. This takes less time from everybody and 
so is business courtesy. 

All business does not take place, of course, in a 
store or office. Can you name some other places 
where business is carried on? The post office, the 
bank, the railway station. Then people come to our 
homes on business matters. Sometimes this annoys 
us, for they call when we are busy, or perhaps we 
would prefer not to have them call at all. But 
if we are truly polite, we shall be like George 
Washington, who said, “Be courteous to all.” 

To people whom we owe money there is really 
[ 59 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

no excuse for being impolite. A good rule of 
Abraham Lincoln’s was, “Be courteous to your 
creditors.” If one has a good excuse for not pay¬ 
ing when a bill is due, it is only fair to explain it, 
and may save trouble for ourselves. 

And just because no business is a social affair is 
no reason why we should not be courteous. It is in¬ 
deed the more reason for being courteous, for civil¬ 
ity makes it easier and quicker to do business of 
any kind. 

Points to Remember 

Be brief. 

Do not waste the time of busy people. 

Do not visit during business hours. 

When telephoning to a store or office, speak plainly 
and to the point. 

Give your name at the outset. 

“Be courteous to all.” 

If you owe money and cannot pay promptly, ex¬ 
plain the reason for the delay. 


Lost time is never found again, 
and what we call time enough, 
always proves little enough. 

—Franklin 


[ 60 ] 



CURIOSITY AND COURTESY 

Deal with another as you^d have 
Another deal with you; 

What you’re unxmlling to receive 
Be sure you never do. 

W HAT has curiosity to do with courtesy? A 
great deal, if you stop to think. Curiosity 
is often what prevents people from being 
truly kind and polite. How, do you think? 

Most people nowadays know enough to be 
courteous about ordinary things such as saying 
“Please,” “Thank you” and “Excuse me.” But 
it is the really well-bred people who do not allow 
themselves to be so curious as to ask impolite ques¬ 
tions of other people. 


[ 61 ] 









The Courtesy Book 

Can you name some things it is impolite to ask 
people about? It is not our business, and there¬ 
fore very rude, to ask people to tell their ages, or 
anything about their money affairs. These are 
personal matters. If people want us to know about 
them, they will tell us, without our asking. 

It is a good rule to remember, when we are 
tempted to ask a question that might not be polite, 
that people will tell us anything they want us to 
know. What they do not want us to know, it is 
very rude to try to find out. 

You know courtesy is the thing that shows how 
refined and well-bred we are. So, if we are curious 
instead of courteous, we show ourselves to be ill- 
bred. “Good manners comfe from a good heart” 
and if we are kind-hearted, surely we never want 
to ask questions that would hurt anyone’s feelings. 

Questions about the weather or general topics 
such as books, or events in the newspaper are not 
impolite, because they are not personal. But to 
ask a question about a person’s religion, politics, 
clothes, appearance or family, may annoy or hurt 
them. So we should avoid it, unless we are quite 
certain they want to be asked. 

Did anyone ever ask you a question that you did 
not want to answer? If we apply the Golden Rule 
to questions, we shall not be in danger of being 
curious instead of courteous; for all we have to say 
[ 62 ] 


Curiosity and Courtesy 

to ourselves is, would we like to be asked the same 
question ? At all times and in all ways, avoid doing 
what you notice is unpleasant in others. 

For example, how would you like to have some 
one say, “That’s a pretty dress you have on. How 
much did it cost?” Perhaps it did not cost very 
much because it was made over from another dress. 
But we don’t like to say so. And that is why per¬ 
sonal questions may be embarrassing and therefore 
are impolite. We do not have to answer questions 
prompted by curiosity. We can return a look of 
surprise or an evasive reply, such as: “I am glad 
you like my dress.” 

Do not discuss family affairs with others. It is 
not in good taste to do so and private matters are 
of interest only to those concerned in them. 

Another way of being curious instead of being 
courteous is not by asking questions, but by looking 
or listening curiously. Never look over another’s 
shoulder to see what he is reading or writing. Do 
not listen at doors or windows to conversations 
which you are not expected to overhear. Sometimes 
we happen to be with people who have to talk about 
things they don’t like to speak of in public. Ill-bred 
people stare and listen; but a really courteous per¬ 
son will pay attention to something else, to try to 
make the talkers comfortable. All real courtesy is 
unselfishness —trying to make other people com- 
[ 63 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

fortable. So, when people want us not to notice 
anything, it is impolite to show curiosity. 

Points to Remember 

Do not ask impolite questions. 

Do not ask people’s ages. 

Do not ask about money matters. 

Do not try to find out things people wish to con¬ 
ceal. 

Do not ask questions that might hurt anyone’s 
feelings. 

Talk about things of general interest. 

Do not discuss personal matters. 

The Golden Rule is the best guide in the matter of 
asking questions. 

Do not stare or look with curiosity at other people. 

A great nation is made only 
by worthy citizens. 

—C. D. Warner 


[ 64 ] 



GOOD TASTE IN DRESS 


The apparel oft proclaims the man. 

—Shakespeare 


D id you ever stop to think that a person may 
show good or bad breeding by the way he 
or she dresses? 

Of course handsome and expensive clothes do 
not mean that the wearer is refined or polite. There 
are certain times when it is good manners to wear 
our very best clothes. But it is really in bad taste, 
and therefore it is bad manners, to wear our best 
clothes every day. When you see children going 
to school in clothes only suitable for a party, you 
really see an example of bad manners. 

[ 65 ] 










The Courtesy Book 

The person who is well-bred knows how to behave 
at all times, and good taste in dress means being 
suitably dressed for the occasion. Thus, at the 
beach, a bathing suit is the thing when going into 
the water; but just as soon as the fun is over, street 
clothes should be put on. When you see people 
in a beach town parading through the streets in 
bathing suits, you may know they are ill-bred. 

Can you think of some examples where people 
were not suitably dressed, and were therefore im¬ 
polite ? 

Sometimes one sees people, especially young 
girls, going to work in clothes that are too fancy. 
It looks silly, doesn’t it, to see a girl, who is not 
going to a party, wearing a fancy silk dress, white 
kid gloves, silk stockings or thin-soled slippers? 
You can see that it is improper not to dress suitably 
for the occasion. And besides, it makes us uncom¬ 
fortable, because others may notice the mistake. 

In the morning, and when one goes to school, 
work or business, it is always best to wear plain 
clothes that wear well and do not attract atten¬ 
tion. Any clothes that especially attract attention 
show that the wearer is not well-bred, for no refined 
person wants to “make a show of himself or her¬ 
self,” even when their clothes are beautiful. The 
girl who purposely tries to outdo her friends in 
dress is both vain and rude. Courtesy, you know, 
[ 66 ] 


Good Taste in Dress 


is a test of character. And when we do anything 
that is selfish or unkind we are discourteous. 

There are many ways in which we can show good 
taste in dress. We may please everyone, and hurt 
no one’s feelings when we wear fresh, clean clothes 
and keep our person daintily clean and neat. Fre¬ 
quent baths may be taken by the poorest person. 
It is very bad form indeed to have dirty finger 
nails, unbrushed teeth or untidy hair. If we are 
neat, we shall always try to have our clothes free 
from spots, well brushed, and our shoes cleaned 
and polished. Of course at the end of the day it is 
hard to look just as if one had “stepped out of a 
band box,” but we should all start out every morn¬ 
ing just as neat and clean as we can, if we wish 
to appear well-bred and attractive. Neatness in 
dress is considered so much a part of courtesy these 
days that business firms require it just as much as 
they do business ability and honesty. Boys some¬ 
times think it is silly or a waste of time to mani¬ 
cure their nails, but in a certain bank the clerks who 
wait on the public are required to do this twice a 
week. The bank thinks it would be disagreeable 
for the public to be waited upon by clerks with 
dirty, ill-kept finger nails. 

Girls are sometimes careless about mending their 
clothes. It is just as improper to appear in public 
with sloppy clothes, with buttons or hooks and eyes 
[ 67 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 

off, or torn places, as it is to wear soiled clothes. If 
a girl has time to put on jewelry and fancy col¬ 
lars, surely she has time to keep her clothes neatly 
mended. 

What other things do you think show good taste 
in dress? 

When people have such bad taste as to over¬ 
dress, they are apt to wear too much jewelry. You 
know it is not in good taste to wear anything fancy 
in jewelry except on dress occasions, such as an 
afternoon or evening reception. It is not considered 
good taste for girls to wear handsome necklaces or 
rings until they reach the age of at least eighteen 
years. In the morning, or in business, it is only suit¬ 
able to wear useful jewelry, like a wrist watch or a 
simple pin to hold a collar in place. It is in poor 
taste to wear cheap jewelry or imitation stones. 
The excessive use of any jewelry is in very bad 
taste. Of course diamonds are only suitable for 
elaborate occasions. The kings and queens of 
Europe keep their expensive jewels locked up and 
only wear them at very special court ceremonies. 

The girl or woman who has good taste in dress 
usually wears gloves on the street, except in the 
case of girls or women who work and may not find 
it convenient to do so in the summer. Gloves do not 
need to be expensive. Nowadays cotton gloves are 
good style, and, if they are clean, neatly gloved 
[ 68 ] 


Good Taste in Dress 

hands show refinement. Boys and men in the 
United States do not usually wear gloves every day 
except when driving or in cold weather. But they 
are expected to be polite and wear them to such 
places as church and afternoon or evening social 
affairs. 

What do you think about perfume in connection 
with polite dress? 

Many people use perfume too much. Then it is 
apt to be disagreeable to others and therefore im¬ 
polite. It is better not to use any at all than too 
much. 

The use of a vanity case or powder puff in public 
stamps a girl or woman as underbred. Make your 
toilet before you leave your room. If necessary to 
repair it later, do so in private, if you have to make 
a special trip to the lavatory for the purpose. The 
prevalent custom of women and girls using mirrors, 
combs, rouge and powder compacts publicly does 
not and cannot make this offensive practice seemly. 

Girls should remember that too much ‘‘make¬ 
up” and extremes of style show bad taste and bad 
breeding. 

The rule for good taste in dress can easily be 
remembered. Two things are necessary: First, be 
clean.and neat always. Second, be dressed suitably 
for the occasion. 

It is the way you look, and act, and talk—by 
[ 69 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 

these qualities people will form their opinions of 

you. 

Points to Remember 

Do not wear rich or fancy clothes to school. 

Do not wear bathing suits except in the water or 
on the beach. 

Do not wear delicate or light colored fabrics on the 
street, or where they are likely to be soiled or 
spoiled. 

Do not try to “show olF” by dressing better than 
your comrades. 

Wear clean clothes. 

Bathe frequently. 

Keep finger nails clean and neat. 

Brush teeth and hair. 

Keep your clothes in order. Mend them when they 
need it. 

Do not wear much jewelry except for dress occa¬ 
sions. 

Use little or no perfume. 


Neatness and its reverse are almost 
a certain test of moral character. 

—Whitaker 


[ 70 ] 



THE BOASTER 


Modesty is inseparable from true merit. 


D O YOU like people who boast or brag? 
What is a boaster or braggart? It is one 
who tells things that give the person who 
tells them credit for being very smart, brave, rich 
or other things that people admire or envy. We 
have all met some one sometime who liked to “show 
off” by telling wonderful things of himself. Nearly 
always, too, the things that the boaster describes, 
make him or her a hero or heroine. If the boaster 
were really so great, he or she would not have to 
tell about it, as the rest of the world would know it! 
[ 71 ] 










The Courtesy Book 

Don’t you think most of the things people brag 
about are funny? Men are usually laughed at for 
bragging about how many fish they have caught. 
Women love to boast about their clothes. Some 
school children brag about what hard studies they 
are taking, or what good marks they receive. 
Young people, too, brag about what stunts they 
can do in athletics, but they are likely to be called 
upon to prove it. Usually a boaster likes to tell 
something that no one can duplicate. 

Of course politeness would not permit one to 
question a braggart. But it does not prevent peo¬ 
ple from being amused within themselves at his 
bragging. And if a braggart does nothing but 
talk about himself, people become so tired of it that 
they would avoid the boastful one. It is only selfish, 
ill-bred people who want to talk about themselves 
all the time. Modesty keeps people who are really 
great from even mentioning the things they have 
done. 

People who brag about their looks, their strength 
or their clothes are some of the worst braggarts, 
because they usually have not gained these things 
by work themselves, so no credit really belongs to 
them. 

Can you think of some things that you have 
heard people brag about? Here are some silly 
things I have heard people boast about: How fast 
[ 72 ] 


The Boaster 


they could drive an automobile; how many baths 
they took; how many toys they had; how many 
times they had been in the hospital; how many 
pairs of shoes they owned; how much land their 
fathers owned; the number of times they had been 
on the ocean; how late they could sit up nights; how 
many eggs they could eat; how many Christmas 
presents they received, and how much charity work 
they did! 

Of course when we try and finally succeed in 
some hard thing, or something especially nice hap¬ 
pens to us, we like to tell our best friends. But 
even then it is best to wait and let them speak of it 
first. What seems wonderful to us may only bore 
them. 

But a very good test to make when we want to 
tell something that might sound boastful, is to ask 
ourselves if it will embarrass anyone or hurt any¬ 
one’s feelings. When a girl feels like saying to her 
chum, “Oh, I am going to have a very pretty new 
dress!” she will, if kind and polite, think first if this 
would make her friend unhappy. If her chum does 
not have very nice clothes or cannot have a new 
dress, it might, it would be unkind to remind her 
of it. If a boy talks a great deal about a trip he is 
going to take that none of his friends can take, he 
is apt to sound boastful, unless they ask him about 
it. So you see why bragging is selfish, because it 
[T3] 


The Courtesy Booh 

may make others uncomfortable, and real courtesy 
never does that. 

Points to Remember 

Do not brag about 
Your clothes. 

Your studies or your standing in class. 

Your stunts in athletics. 

Be modest. 

We may tell our friends about nice things or pleas¬ 
ant things that happen to us, if they ask us. 

Do not speak of advantages you have or expect to 
enjoy to those less fortunate. 


The man that once did sell the lion’s skin 

While the beast lived, was killed while hunting him. 

—Shakespeare 


[ 74 ] 



THE WAY TO DO FAVORS 

Let me live in my house by the side of the road 
And be a friend to man. 

—S. W. Foss 


‘‘XJ'ELEN, will you please walk around the 
f I corner, when you go to Mary’s, and drop 
this letter in the mail box for me?” 

“Oh, dear!” answered Helen with a frown, “it 
will make me late—” 

“Late for what?” asked her mother. 

“To play!” said Helen, looking a little ashamed. 
You see when we are asked to do a favor and are 
put out, it is usually because we are so selfish we 
don’t want to take a few minutes’ time for some 
[75] 





The Courtesy Booh 


one else. Hardly anyone absolutely refuses to do 
a favor for another, but “If you have to do a thing, 
do it gracefully.’’ One should be polite in the first 
place and act as if pleased to do a favor. A kind 
and polite person is glad to do favors for others. 
And a really thoughtful person offers to help in 
any little thoughtful way that he or she can. 

When people are sick or in sorrow, it is true 
courtesy to say, “Let me know if there is anything 
I can do.” They may not accept, but it makes 
them happier to know that some one thinks of them. 
In the home, there are many favors that children 
can offer to do. Can you name some? Here are 
some things that are helpful: Shut doors, answer 
the door-bell or the telephone, pick up things on 
the floor, water the plants, sweep the front steps 
or the walk, feed pets or chickens, get the mail or 
newspaper, get an umbrella for some one in a hurry 
to go out, do errands upstairs to save older people 
from climbing stairs, get dry clothes for some one 
coming in wet from a storm, wait on the table or 
do errands in the neighborhood. 

In passing through a door hold it open for the 
lady, even if she is a stranger. Whenever a ques¬ 
tion is asked by a stranger, answer freely and civ¬ 
illy. Always give assistance to elderly people when 
crossing the street, getting on cars, etc. 

When some one asks another to do a favor, what 

[76] 


The Way to Do Favors 

should be the reply? “Um-uh’' or “All right”? 
No, these are never polite answers to any ques¬ 
tions. If one is gracious and glad to help another, 
one says “With pleasure,” or “I’ll be glad to.” 
That some people are not grateful or thankful for 
a favor is no reason why one should not always 
be as polite as he can. 

If one does not do a favor promptly, this is im¬ 
polite, for it looks as if either he didn’t want to do 
it, or did not intend to. Sometimes people ask 
favors and say “I hope I can do something for you 
some day.” This shows that everyone needs to ask 
favors sometime. Stop and think if you have not 
asked some one to do something for you this week. 
When one realizes that sooner or later he must 
ask favors one’s self, it seems very small not to be 
willing to do favors for others politely. 

But of course we should not do a favor to win a 
reward. A little boy I once knew used to hurry to 
help people off the street car and offer to carry 
their bundles. When he was through he would hint 
to be paid by saying something like this: “Yester¬ 
day Mr. Smith gave me ten cents for helping him 
this same way.” That was not polite, was it? Be¬ 
sides, it was not doing a favor, exactly. It was 
doing work that he expected to be paid for, al¬ 
though he had not been asked to do it. After 
that, none of the neighbors liked to ask him to mail 
[77] 


The Courtesy Booh 

a letter or do any other trifling favor, because they 
knew he expected money for something that should 
have been a courtesy only. Real kindness is not 
bought with money. So the most polite way to do 
a favor is to be just as obliging as possible, because 
this is Golden Rule courtesy. 

Points to Remember 

Do errands for your mother willingly. 

Offer your help when you see it is needed. 

Perform little acts of kindness or small services 
without waiting to be asked. 

Be polite and helpful whether people appreciate 
your action or not. 

Do favors promptly. 

Do not expect or ask a reward for doing favors. 

Be obliging. 


He only confers favors generously 
who appears, when they are once con¬ 
ferred, to remember them no more. 

—Johnson 


[ 78 ] 


COURTESY TO GUESTS 


This door will open at a touch to welcome every friend. 

—Henry Van Dyke 


W HEN you go to visit friends, how do you 
like to be treated? It makes you happy, 
doesn’t it, when they are glad to see you? 
If they are polite, they ask you to come in and 
have a seat. They also ask you to take off your 
things, if you are not making just a short or formal 
call. 

You see, the way to treat a guest is the way you 
like to be treated when you visit. For example, it 
is hospitable and therefore courteous for a host or 
hostess to offer the guest the best of everything he 
[79] 








The Courtesy Booh 

or she has. Thus, if a guest stays over night, we 
try to give him or her the best room. Most of us 
try to give our guests the best things to eat, too, 
don’t we? We use our best dishes and try to have 
our home in perfect order when guests come—not 
to show off, but to show them how welcome they 
are. So that is why we go to extra trouble to make 
things pleasant for our guests. 

In order that our guests may enjoy themselves 
as much as possible, we take pains with many 
things. For example, we may close a door if there 
should be a draught. If guests should come to us 
after a journey and are tired, we offer them a place 
to rest and to take a nap, if they wish to do so. It 
is also courteous to offer them a chance to wash or 
bathe. In warm weather especially, people appre¬ 
ciate this. It is thoughtful in warm weather also 
to offer every guest who comes to our home, even 
for a short stay, a glass of water. In cold weather 
people appreciate something warm to drink, like 
a cup of coffee, tea or cocoa. It is polite to ask 
people which they prefer to drink, if one happens 
to have a choice in the pantry. Of course it is not 
necessary to offer a warm drink, but only a kind¬ 
ness that almost everyone appreciates. 

At meals one offers guests the first and best of 
everything. One also talks about the things that 
will interest a guest most. It is impolite to tell 
[ 80 ] 


Courtesy to Guests 

one s troubles, or talk about any disagreeable thing 
that would be liable to offend or hurt a guest. Of 
course, if a guest should ask about anything, one is 
then privileged to talk about it. 

Another impolite thing is to try to “show off” 
before guests. Some people like to sing or play 
an instrument or recite a piece whether a guest 
really wants to hear it or not. Some other people 
like to show off their clothes. Girls who are 
thoughtless will sometimes take out all their dresses 
from the closet to show to a guest. If the guest 
asks to see them, that is different. But a polite 
host or hostess never tries to “show off” any more 
than he or she would boast or brag. 

If the host or hostess has something especially 
nice to share, such as a new toy, a swing, a book, a 
phonograph record or a nice garden, this is a good 
way to entertain a guest. 

In giving introductions, pronounce the names 
distinctly. The gentleman is always presented to 
the lady, as: “Mrs. or Miss Allen, allow me to 
present Mr. Whitney.” Or simply, “Miss Grant, 
Miss Carey.” “Mr. Lee, Mr. Hubbard.” A boy 
or girl introducing a friend to his or her parents 
would say, “This is my mother (or father), Mr. 
Lewis”; with any other relative, “This is my sister. 
Miss Wright, Mr. Lewis.” 

A girl should rise when another girl is pre- 

[ 81 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

sented to her, but may keep her seat and bow when 
a boy is presented. When two people are pre¬ 
sented, both make a slight inclination of the head 
and body, and pronounce each other’s name. Boys 
usually shake hands when introduced to each other. 
A girl need not shake hands when introduced to a 
boy; a bow is sufficient. A bow should always be 
returned. A formal bow and smile is all a girl is 
permitted to offer on the street, or in a public place, 
when recognizing anyone. Indoors a girl may 
offer her hand, but this is not necessary. The boy 
does not do so unless the girl has first extended 
hers. But no well-bred girl would fail to take a 
hand offered her, nor show surprise if the boy made 
such an error. It is very rude indeed to make a 
person feel that he has made a mistake in a matter 
of good manners, when no unkindness is shown. 
This is an important point to remember, for it is 
the disposition we show that is the main thing. 
Courtesy is kindness in small matters, you 
know. 

The aim of the well-bred hostess is to put her 
guests at ease. A cordial greeting makes a visitor 
feel welcome. Quiet courtesy in conversation and 
care for the comfort and pleasure of your com¬ 
pany will go a great way to make an occasion en¬ 
joyable. The courteous hostess forgets herself in 
trying to make her guests enjoy themselves. 

[ 82 ] 


Courtesy to Guests 

In greetings and introductions certain rules must 
be observed. The hostess rises to greet a guest. 
Boys or girls should rise when being presented to 
older persons, as the parents of their schoolmates. 
Remain standing until the elders are seated. Do 
not offer to shake hands unless they do so. “How 
do you do?” is the proper phrase of greeting a new 
acquaintance, repeating the name. 

In conversation, use plain English—avoid slang 
and loud talking. Do not interrupt; give attention 
to the person speaking and try to have something 
ready for a reply. Ill-natured criticism is a serious 
social blunder. 

When asked to play or sing, respond pleasantly; 
do not wait to be urged a long time. 

Do not stay longer than the time indicated in 
your invitation when attending a party. Do not 
stay later than ten o’clock when making an evening 
call. 

When visiting in the home of friends, adapt 
yourself and your habits to the customs of the home 
you are in. After returning home do not forget 
to write your hostess to say how much you en¬ 
joyed your visit. 

The “bread-and-butter letter,” as it is called, 
which you write after a visit, should be sent 
promptly. It is a courtesy you owe your friends 
for the hospitality of their home. 

[83] 


The Courtesy Book 
Points to Remember 

Can you name some things that are nice to do 
for a guest? 

Perhaps this list will give you some ideas: 

Put flowers in the guest room, or on the table where 
meals are served. 

Carry the guests' baggage both when they come 
and when they leave. 

Hang up their wraps. 

Be sure that they have the seat they like best. 
Serve some favorite dish to them. 

Don’t urge them to do anything, after they have 
shown that they do not want to do it. 

If they are strangers in the place, show them all 
the interesting places. 


When friends are at your hearthside met. 
Sweet courtesy has done its most 
If you have made each guest forget 
That he himself is not the host. 

—Aldrich 


[ 84 ] 


COURTESY IN VISITING 


Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. 

—Pope 


P eople who are polite are just as careful 
of their manners when they visR as when 
they have visitors. It takes just as much 
courtesy to be a guest as it does a host or hostess. 

The first thing a polite visitor or guest (the two 
words mean the same thing) does, is to go visiting 
at exactly the time he or she is invited. To go 
earlier or later is equally bad manners, for it will 
cause trouble and annoyance to the host or hostess. 

After one arrives one should then try to enjoy 
whatever is offered, whether it is rest, entertain- 
[85] 




















The Courtesy Book 

ment or refreshments. If a hostess has planned 
just a quiet talk, one should act just as if one en¬ 
joyed that the most of anything. If it is a party 
where games are played, one should try to play 
every game and enjoy them all. Even if one does 
not know how to play the game, it is polite to try 
anyway. Also one must be careful to be polite 
when one is beaten. That is what is called “being 
a good sport,” you know, to be beaten and yet be 
good-natured and polite. 

A courteous visitor would not say that he or she 
doesn’t like what is offered to eat or drink. It is 
polite to say “Thank you” and eat a little anyway. 
A visitor does not ask for more of anything, but 
may take a second helping, if invited. Correct 
table manners are expected of every guest. 

Of course visitors say “Thank you” for every¬ 
thing that is done for them. It would be very im¬ 
polite to act as if one didn’t care. If anything is 
especially nice to eat, or pleasant to do, one may 
say more than “Thank you.” One may say how 
much he enjoys it. 

When one is visiting over night in any home, he 
tries to do the way the family does to save trouble. 
Thus it is courteous to go to bed when the family 
does and get up in the morning at the hour most 
convenient for them. If the hostess does not men¬ 
tion the time to get up and the hour for breakfast, 
[ 86 ] 


Courtesy in Visiting 

it is polite to ask, so that as a visitor one will not 
keep the hostess waiting for one at meal time. To 
come late to a meal when visiting is very rude. If 
one is visiting longer than over night, he tries to 
keep the same hours as the family in everything, 
so as to make as little trouble as possible. 

A thoughtful guest takes special pains with 
other people’s things. He or she never damages 
a room or furniture, if it can be helped. Guests 
who are selfish and ill-bred have been known to 
scratch furniture, strike matches on a wall, leave 
hair in the hair brush on the dresser, drop crumbs 
or scraps of paper on the floor, leave a window 
open so it rained in and spoiled things, put muddy 
shoes on a clean bedspread, dog-ear, bend, tear or 
soil books and magazines and leave the room gen¬ 
erally untidy when it had been made fresh and nice 
for them. Do you think the hostess would be likely 
to invite such visitors again? 

When one is visiting longer than a day, it is 
thoughtful to offer to help the hostess in some way. 
One may offer to dust a room, clear the table, an¬ 
swer the bell, sweep the front steps or do errands. 
Of course if there are servants, this would not be 
necessary. But if a hostess does all the work her¬ 
self, it is kind and polite to offer to help. Even if 
the hostess prefers to do everything herself, she al¬ 
ways appreciates it when one offers. 

[ 87 ] 


The Courtesy Book 
Points to Remember 
When visiting 

Go at the time you are expected. 

Show your appreciation of what is planned or of¬ 
fered for your entertainment. 

Enter into any games that are played. 

Eat the food provided. 

Go to bed and get up when the family does. 

Be punctual at meal time. 

Be neat and orderly. 

Be careful of furniture and belongings of the home 
you visit. 

Offer to help if help is needed. 


Choose your friend wisely, 
Test your friend well; 

True friends, like rarest gems. 
Prove hard to tell. 


[ 88 ] 



GIVING INVITATIONS 

It is even true that grace is more beautiful than beauty. 

—Emerson 

T here are three ways to give invitations. 
Can you name them? One may invite people 
in person, over the telephone or by writing 

them. 

To be polite when inviting people in person, one 
speaks in the pleasantest way. One either says, 
‘T’d like to have you come to my party next 
Wednesday fromdwo until five o’clock. Can you 
come?” Or you may ask, “Can you come to my 
party next Wednesday from two until five o’clock? 
I’d like very much to have you.” 

[89] 







The Courtesy Book 

When people are making a short call or visit in 
our home and we invite them to stay to a meal, we 
say much the same way, “Can’t you stay to lunch¬ 
eon? We would like to have you,” or perhaps we 
say, “We would enjoy having you stay to dinner 
very much,” or “It would give us pleasure if you 
can dine with us.” 

Over the telephone we give invitations the same 
way. 

The most important thing to say in any invita¬ 
tion is the time for people to come. If we are po¬ 
lite we always mention the date and the hour. In 
written invitations we also give oUr address, street 
and number. And this should be written out in 
full in a formal invitation. 

There are two kinds of invitations, one is called 
formal and the other informal. A formal invita¬ 
tion is given at least two weeks ahead of the event, 
but an informal one may be given any time before 
and may be spoken or telephoned. The informal 
invitation is the one most often used for young 
people’s parties. A formal invitation must always 
be written and carefully worded, in the third 
person. 

Why should we be very particular to give the 
date, hour and address in an invitation? Because 
it will save trouble for everyone. The guest who 
does not understand exactly what time the invita- 
[90] 


Giving Invitations 

tion is for may come at the wrong time, which is 
inconvenient for the hostess and embarrassing for 
the gnest. So you see in every invitation, whether 
written or spoken, it is important to name the date 
and the hour. It is also proper to tell the hour 
when the visit is to end. For example, a party 
invitation should say, “From two until five 
o’clock.’’ Then the guest knows when it is polite 
to leave. People are sometimes careless when in¬ 
viting guests to visit in their homes about mention¬ 
ing how long they are to remain. They name the 
day and hour they are to come, but forget to say 
what day the guest is to go. This makes it em¬ 
barrassing for the guest. So it is polite when in¬ 
viting anyone, for any occasion, to name both the 
beginning and ending hours or days of the invita¬ 
tion. 

In writing invitations use white or cream note 
paper and black or dark blue ink. Neatness and 
good penmanship count for a great deal in all 
social correspondence, as well as in your school 
work. There can be no excuse for blots, erasures, 
soiled or crumpled paper. Give all the facts as 
briefly as possible. Be sure that nothing is for¬ 
gotten that your guest needs to know. Mail the 
invitation in plenty of time to enable your friend 
to reply, so that you will know how many to ex¬ 
pect. 


[ 91 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

Here is an informal invitation worded the way it 
is considered polite to write one. You may write 
others, being careful to put in a different address, 
date, hour and your own name as host or hostess 
and the name of the guest you are inviting. 

32 Main Street 

Rosemont, California 
September 3, 1927 

Dear Helen: 

I am inviting a few friends for next Thursday 
afternoon, September tenth, from three until five 
o’clock, and want you to be one of my guests. Can 
you come? 

Very sincerely, 

Pauline Parker 

Points to Remember 

Informal invitations may be spoken, telephoned or 
written. 

Usually the time between the informal invitation 
and the event is short. 

JNIention the date and the hour in all cases and the 
time for the visit or the party to end. 

A formal invitation is sent two weeks before the 
party. It is worded in the third person. 

The informal invitation is the one most often used 
for young folks’ parties. 

[92] 



REPLYING TO INVITATIONS 


All doors open to courtesy. 


T here are three kinds of invitations that we 
receive. One is the written invitation that 
conies in the form of a letter. Can you guess 
the other two? Another kind is the telephone in¬ 
vitation, and still another is the one given us per¬ 
sonally. And it is just as necessary to be courte¬ 
ous and to give a polite reply to the person who 
invites us when they talk to us. Haven’t you heard 
people say, when asked to go some place, “I’ll try 
to come. But I’m not sure. If you don’t see me 

Replying to written invitations should be practiced with 
several kinds of invitations, and the children themselves 
should write the replies. To learn how to write correctly 
worded replies, practice on more than one occasion is nec¬ 
essary. 


[ 93 ] 




The Courtesy Book 


there, you’ll know I can’t come.” An answer like 
this is not meant to be rude. But it sometimes is, 
for anyone who gives an invitation needs and ex¬ 
pects to know certainly whether to expect a guest. 
Such a reply, however, is excusable for a busy 
mother or a business man or woman, or even for 
a boy or girl who has to work at home or elsewhere; 
for duty comes before pleasure. But this applies 
only to informal invitations, of course. 

When we receive a written invitation we are ex¬ 
pected to write a reply. Indeed we are often asked 
to send a written reply. The letters R. S. V. P. 
on a formal invitation mean, Reply, if you 
please.” But when we receive an invitation face to 
face, or over the telephone, we should take just as 
much pains to give an answer that means yes or no, 
if possible to do so. One reason is, that if we are 
not going to accept, another person may be asked 
in our place. Invitations to entertainments, where 
tickets are necessary, mean that some one else may 
use the tickets, if we do not. 

The first thing when invited to anything, 
whether it be a ride, a picnic, an entertainment, a 
party, a meal or a visit, is to say, “Thank you for 
the invitation.” Then, if one can accept, one goes 
on to say, “I am glad to accept.” If one cannot 
accept it is polite to say, “I would like to accept 
very much, but I cannot because—” and then one 
[94] 


Replying to Invitations 

gives any one of these polite reasons; “I have al¬ 
ready accepted another invitation for the same 
time,” or “I shall be out of town,” or “I cannot 
on account of illness.” If one is ill, or if there is 
illness or death in one’s family, one is not expected 
to accept invitations. 

One thing one should always be careful about, if 
one is kind and polite, is not to refuse an invitation 
and then accept another given afterwards for the 
same date. This would naturally hurt the feelings 
of the one who gave the first invitation, unless there 
should be a very special reason which was ex¬ 
plained politely. 

Over the telephone one thanks a person for an 
invitation just as when meeting the giver face to 
face and either accepts or excuses one’s self. 

Replies are written to invitations very much the 
way they are worded to us. Thus we write the kind 
of invitation it is, the address, the date and the hour 
that are mentioned, so that it shows we understand 
it. A formal invitation is spaced thus; 

Miss Helen Ward 
requests the pleasure of 
Miss Pauline Parker’s company 
at Thirty-two Main Street 
on Thursday afternoon, September tenth 
from three until five o’clock 
[95] 


The Courtesy Book 


Sometimes the letters R. S. V. P. are added to 
this kind of an invitation. You remember that 
they mean “Reply, if you please.’' Rut whether 
R. S. V. P. is put on any invitation or not, it is 
polite to answer and either accept or “regret.” To 
send “regrets” means that the person invited re¬ 
plies politely, saying that he or she “regrets” not 
being able to accept the invitation and briefly giv¬ 
ing the reason. 

You will notice that in the body of the notes of 
invitation, acceptance or “regrets,” the numerals 
are written out in full. This is considered proper 
in polite correspondence. 

The formal invitation is used for special occa¬ 
sions. The request for a reply shows that the 
hostess will prepare for just the number of guests 
who accept. 

The informal invitation is the one you should 
practice writing for home affairs. Its use shows 
that the party will be a quiet event. It is expected, 
however, that the invitation will indicate something 
about the size and kind of party to be given, so 
that guests will know how to dress and the kind of 
entertainment to be provided. The time to arrive 
and when to leave also should be given in all in¬ 
vitations. 

Here is an informal invitation and a reply. 
Please copy it, then see if you can make one up 
[ 96 ] 


Replying to Invitations 


worded just the same way but with a different 
name, date, hour and address. 


32 Main Street 
Rosemont, Colorado 
January 7, 1927 

Dear Albert: 

My brother and I are going to have a skating 
party next Wednesday evening, January four¬ 
teenth, from half past seven to nine o’clock, and we 
would like to have you come. We are going to 
leave our house at half past seven, and we hope 
you can be there at that time. 

Very sincerely, 

Charles Thornton 

11 Westcott Street, 
Rosemont, Colorado 
January 8, 1927 

Dear Charles: 

Thank you very much for the kind invitation to 
come to your skating party next Wednesday eve¬ 
ning, January fourteenth, from half past seven to 
nine o’clock. I am glad to accept and I shall be at 
your home promptly at half past seven. 

Very sincerely. 


[ 97 ] 


Albert Ward 


The Courtesy Book 
Points to Remember 

Be courteous when giving invitations. 

Be explicit as to the time your guests are to come. 

Make your acceptance of an informal invitation as 
definite as you can. 

The letters R. S. V. P. mean “Reply if you 
please.” 

The acceptance or “regrets” should be worded like 
the invitation. 

When you send regrets, do not accept another in¬ 
vitation for the same time. 


It may seem a trifle at most. 

The thing that we do or say; 

And yet it may be that at fearful cost, 
We may wish it undone some day. 

— Mrs. M. P. Handy 


[ 98 ] 



DIRECTING PEOPLE COURTEOUSLY 


Whenever you speak, speak kindly; give joy 
wherever you dwell. 


A very common happening in life is for 
people to ask how to get to places. 

Giving directions, that is, telling them 
how to get there, is a test of courtesy. People who 
are impolite are sometimes angry if they are both¬ 
ered, and may be uncivil even when asked cour¬ 
teously for directions. Abraham Lincoln, who was 
a very plain man and who had no one to teach him 
manners, said, ‘‘A man has no more right to say 
an uncivil thing than to act one; no more right to 
say a rude thing than to knock a man down.” 
Sometimes people are impolite to those who in- 
[99] 











The Courtesy Booh 

quire the way, because the person who asks is a 
stranger, is poorly dressed, crippled or old. To be 
impolite for any of these reasons is truly shameful, 
for such need our courtesy and kindness most. We 
show that we are shockingly rude and have a false 
heart, and a shallow nature, if we are polite only 
when we think we shall profit by it. We also show 
that we are very selfish and heartless if we cannot 
do a favor politely. Remember that good manners 
come from good feeling. 

Probably we shall have to ask for directions our¬ 
selves some day. Anyone who travels and is in a 
strange place usually needs to ask the way. How 
would we like it if we were sick, poor or just 
strangers, if when we inquired the way, we were 
either snapped up or not given careful attention? 

When we are polite and considerate we try to 
help people out the very best we can. A man who 
was hunting for a certain store in a big city asked 
three people before he found one who would take 
the trouble to direct him exactly how to get there. 
The first person, who was careless, said, ‘T think 
it is three blocks west.” He didn’t really know and 
he didn’t care. The second person, who had a store, 
said curtly that he did not know and he didn’t care 
to bother either. The third did not know, but 
hunted first in a directory and then telephoned to 
find out. This was because the third person was 
[ 100 ] 


T>irecting People Courteously 

courteous and therefore willing to take trouble to 
help. Of course the man hunting was very grate¬ 
ful to find a courteous person. Business firms that 
are up-to-date nowadays usually tell their help to 
be just as polite and painstaking as possible. Real¬ 
izing the importance of courtesy, if they wish the 
public to have a good opinion of them, they will 
often give the address of a rival firm! 

When people ask to go to a certain street, of 
course we do not always know it ourselves. But 
the least we can do, if we are courteous, is to an¬ 
swer politely, “I am sorry I do not know.” Then 
perhaps we can tell them where to ask some one who 
is likely to know. 

If we do know the way, the most polite way to 
direct people is to tell them as plainly and simply 
as we can. To give an address correctly, the best 
way is to go by the points of the compass. Thus 
we should say, “It is two blocks north,” instead of 
saying, “It is over there a little way,’' pointing. 
Why, do you think ? It is because directing by the 
compass is more exact and less likely to be misun¬ 
derstood. For the same reason we should say to 
the right or left as the case may be, instead of say¬ 
ing, “Turn by the white house.” There might be 
more than one white house! 

(It is a good plan to practice giving directions 
how to go to well known places in the community, 
[ 101 ] 


The Courtesy Book 

with an older person representing a stranger and 
wanting to know exactly which direction and how 
many blocks to go.) 

Points to Remember 

Give directions politely to people who ask them. 
Take the trouble to make your meaning clear. 
Mention the points of the compass in giving direc¬ 
tions, or right and left. If you do not know 
the way, you may be able to find it out for 
strangers more easily than they could do. 


This above all: to thine own self be true, 
And it must follow, as the night the day. 
Thou canst not then be false to any man. 

—Shakespeare 


[ 102 ] 



COURTESY IN SHOPPING 

Manners are the happy way of doing things. 


H OW do you think a person should behave 
when he or she goes shopping? Should one 
go into a store and say to the clerk, “Give 
me some of that, and hurry!” and then throw 
money down on the counter? 

Why not? Golden Rule courtesy is surely a 
good test of one’s character and training when 
one goes shopping. Just think for a minute, if you 
were a clerk, how you would like to have everyone 
try to hurry, order, scold or find fault with you? 

Perhaps the clerk does not have what you want. 
If one does not happen to fancy what is shown it 
is neither necessary nor polite to say, “I don’t like 
[103] 




The Courtesy Book 

that!'’ Instead, it is better to say courteously, 
“That isn’t just what I’m looking for. Have you 
something else?” If the clerk does not have any¬ 
thing else, it is not his or her fault. Usually that is 
the business of the manager of the store or of the 
department. 

How many people go into a store and ask to see 
many things that take a great deal of time and 
patience for the clerk to show 1 A person who does 
this is quite apt to find fault with everything shown 
and finally to walk out without buying a single 
thing! Is this fair? No, for it takes the clerk’s 
time, when he or she might wait upon some one else, 
and usually clerks are paid in proportion to the 
number of people to whom they sell. Besides it is 
tiresome to lift down rolls of heavy dress goods, 
for example, piles of music or large coats, just to 
please the fancy of a person who either does not 
know what he or she wants or who is just curious 
and really not intending to buy that day. 

When the clerk is helpful in suggesting or telling 
one about new things, hurries to do up a package 
or shows one any special favor, it is proper to say 
something to show that one appreciates it. For 
example, one might say, “I like to shop here be¬ 
cause in this store one is treated so nicely,” or “I 
like to have you wait upon me, because you are so 
prompt and obliging.” 

[ 104] 


Courtesy in Shopping 

Of course one always says “Please” and “Thank 
you” to a clerk just as politely as one does to any¬ 
body else who does one a service. 

Courtesy in shopping is truly doing as one would 
like to be “done by.” How do you like it, when 
you have waited in front of a crowded counter, to 
have some shopper who has come in last of all, push 
ahead of you and others who have been waiting a 
long time? It isn’t fair, or polite, is it? Let’s al¬ 
ways be sure when we shop that we wait our turn. 

Of course the stores are more crowded at certain 
times. When, do you think? Yes, in the middle of 
the day, Saturdays and near Christmas time. If 
one is obliged to shop at these busy times, one must 
expect to wait in turn and to be patient with the 
clerk. 

Remember that it is not polite to handle goods 
any more than it would be to finger food at the 
table that others are to eat, for, you see, handling 
things is apt to take away a little of their freshness 
and newness and the next person may not want to 
buy them. So it isn’t fair to the store, that shows 
you goods, to injure them in any way. Besides if 
everyone handled things on the counter, in a short 
time the goods wouldn’t look nice at all. You 
wouldn’t want to buy goods, would you, that other 
people had mussed up ? 

It is only the person who has not been well 
[105] 


The Courtesy Book 

trained, or who is selfish, that is discourteous when 
shopping. So the next time you go shopping, 
whether it is just to run an errand for a loaf of 
bread, or to go into a big, downtown store to buy 
something to wear, be sure you are just as polite 
as you know how to be, for otherwise you will not 
only make trouble for others but be judged as 
selfish and ill-bred. 

Points to Remember 

Show courtesy to the clerk who waits on you. 

Do not be impatient. 

Do not waste the clerk’s time. 

Thank the clerk who makes helpful suggestions. 

Do not push in front of others. 

Try to avoid shopping when the stores are crowded. 
Do not handle goods displayed for sale. 


’Tis better, nobler to believe 

That those around are good and true 
Than to suspect they may deceive, 

Or guard against what they may do. 

If we would reach a higher mood. 

If we would choose a better plan. 
Let us search daily for the good 
And speak of all the best we can. 


[ 106 ] 



ABOUT APOLOGIES 

Oh, many a shaft at random sent 
Finds mark the archer little meant. 

And many a word at random spoken 
May soothe, or wound a heart that’s broken. 

—Scott 

D O you know what an apology is? It is ex¬ 
plaining to people why one. has done some¬ 
thing that put people to trouble or hurt 
their feelings, and then asking to be excused. For 
example, if one is late in keeping an appointment, 
one should apologize at once by giving the reason 
why one kept the other person waiting, and then 
say one is very sorry. To be late, and not give any 
excuse is very impolite indeed. 

A very common and necessary apology is when 
one steps in front of another and says. Please 

[ 107 ] 








The Courtesy Book 

excuse me.” When one bumps a person by acci¬ 
dent, of course an apology must be made at once. 
The courteous thing to say is, “Please excuse me. 
I am so sorry. I hope I have not hurt you.” At 
a public entertainment where people are seated and 
one must crowd past to get to one’s seat, the cour¬ 
teous person never forgets to apologize for putting 
them to inconvenience. He or she says either, 
“Pardon me,” or “Please excuse me.” These are 
such everyday necessary courtesies that they are 
hardly called apologies. But one must never be in 
too much of a hurry to make them. 

A real apology is made when one has done some¬ 
thing unusual that needs an excuse. If one has 
kept another awake at night by noise, it is polite 
to explain why the noise was necessary and say 
that one is sorry that it happened. Can you name 
some things that we do carelessly, that need an 
apology? Here are some things we do sometimes: 
knock over a waste basket, tip over a plant, spill a 
glass of water, drop ink, slam a door, track mud 
into a clean house, leave a dripping umbrella where 
it will spoil a rug or floor, forget to thank people 
for favors or entertaining us just because we are 
in a hurry, are selfishly slow about answering let¬ 
ters, invitations, or paying bills, interrupt, con¬ 
tradict or talk when others are talking, or whisper 
or giggle when it is out of place to do so. 

[ 108 ] 


About Apologies 

Sometimes we do things that we do not realize 
hurt people’s feelings, annoy them, or put them 
to trouble. As soon as we find it out, we should 
apologize. Sometimes we lose our temper and say 
or do things we would not, if we had not become 
angry. Then an apology is necessary, if we have 
been in the wrong. We should be fair enough to 
admit our fault and say we are sorry. Most people 
are glad to accept an apology and be friends again. 
It is not cowardly to apologize, which means ad¬ 
mitting some carelessness, mistake or fault. Great 
men in public life who have done something requir¬ 
ing an apology are manly enough to make it. Some¬ 
times they send a letter apologizing, sometimes 
they make a speech in public regretting their mis¬ 
take or fault and sometimes it is even printed in the 
newspaper. It is usually more honorable to go to 
a person and apologize in person. But where there 
are hard feelings on both sides it is sometimes 
better to write a polite note saying that one apolo¬ 
gizes and is sorry. Sometimes one can telephone 
an apology. 

But the main thing is to apologize, if one is at 
fault in causing anything uncomfortable for any¬ 
one else—even if the mistake was made through 
other people who prevented one from doing the 
right thing. And it is never small ‘‘to give in,” but 
shows that one really has a fine character to be 
[109] 


The Courtesy Booh 

brave enough to admit personal mistakes and 
faults and a desire to mend them. 

Points to Remember 

Apologies are due 

When mistakes have been made. 

When one has been rude or inconsiderate or un¬ 
kind. 

Well-bred people do not hesitate to apologize when 
they owe an apology. 

You may apologize by letter, if you wish, or by 
telephone. 

It is usually better to make an apology in person. 
The person at fault is the one to apologize. 


Dare to be true. Nothing ean need a lie: 

A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. 


[ 110 ] 



THE COURTESY OF CHEERFULNESS 

And loving smiles are sunbeams, 

A light and joy to all. 


D O YOU like to be around people who are 
moping or scowling? Doesn’t it make you 
feel sad or solemn or uncomfortable when 
people look tearful, sullen, or what men call 
“grouchy”? 

If we look any of these ways, the chances are 
that we may make other people lose their good 
spirits, too. 

People do not always realize that it is impolite 
to show their feelings when they are put out, angry 
or unhappy. But it is a very important part of 
courtesy to be just as cheerful as we can all the 

[ 111 ] 




The Courtesy Book 

time. This is because it makes other people more 
comfortable, and courtesy, you know, is making 
other people comfortable. 

Then another thing is that if we are pleasant 
and smile, we are apt to get smiles in return. It is 
quite certain that people will not like us or want 
us around, if we are disagreeable, and that pleasant 
people are always the most popular. When you 
notice a boy or girl who is popular, see if it is not 
because he or she is always cheerful and pleasant 
with everyone. A cheerful person says the nice 
things there are to say, and forgets about the 
others; or at least does not mention them in a way 
to make people unhappy. 

Sometimes a girl does not like the dress her 
mother wants her to wear, and she is so displeased 
that she frowns at everyone to show how angry 
she is. But what good does that do? It only shows 
that the girl is impolite! 

Sometimes a boy is put out because his father 
wants him to do some work instead of doing some¬ 
thing he thinks he would enjoy more. To show his 
displeasure, the boy scowls and only grunts when 
spoken to. But people only think what a sullen, 
bad-tempered fellow he is! 

Some of the people who lived in Greece hundreds 
of years ago, were called Stoics. They scorned to 
show their feelings when anything went wrong. 

[ 112 ] ‘ 


The Courtesy of Cheerfulness 

Indian braves also hide their feelings when they 
suffer. Every real man scorns to let others know 
when he is unhappy. But too often, all of us per¬ 
mit little things to keep us from being cheerful, by 
showing that we are worried, displeased or dis¬ 
appointed. 

And when we are not cheerful, we are apt to be 
impolite, because we make others uncomfortable. 
To be cheerful is really a fine kind of courage. 
Some of the people who suffer most manage to be 
the most cheerful. I once saw a woman that I 
thought was the happiest person I had ever seen. 
She was always cheerful. Even when the joke was 
on her, she laughed instead of being put out. Then 
she always had something pleasant to say to every¬ 
one she met. But I found out she had a trouble¬ 
some ailment that actually made it painful for her 
to get about and that was likely to cause her death 
any time. Besides she had an unhappy home life. 
Yet she was always cheerful because she had made 
up her mind to be polite to others and not bother 
them with her troubles. 

Here is something to remember: 

Just being happy is a fine thing to do, 

Looking on the bright side rather than the blue; 
Sad or sunny musing is largely in the choosing. 
And just being happy is brave work and tru- 
[113] 


The Courtesy Book 

Points to Remember 

It is courteous to be cheerful. 

It is inconsiderate to show that you feel sad or 
angry. 

Cheerfulness is courage. 

It is manly and womanly to be cheerful in spite of 
trouble. 


Oh, what a lot of pleasure 
Sweet, smiling faces bring; 

And what a lot of music in pleasant voices ring! 
The skies may meet in sadness. 

The blustering wind may blow. 

But if our hearts are cheery. 

There’s sunshine where we go. 

— Mrs. E. R. Miller 


[ 114 ] 



LITTLE EVERYDAY COURTESIES 

It is this sweet surface politeness, 
costing so little, counting for so much, 
which smooths the roughness out of life. 

L ittle everyday courtesies are the most im¬ 
portant part of good manners, because it is 
the little things that make up life. If one is 
particular about little things, it becomes a habit 
that stands the test with big things, too. 

One of the courtesies that everyone can practice 
every day is being polite to older people. Our par¬ 
ents and the older people in our home deserve 
courtesy just as much as somebody we meet on the 
street. It is therefore polite to say “Good morn¬ 
ing” to them the first thing in the morning, to say 
“Good-bv” whenever we leave the house, and to say 
[115] 







The Courtesy Book 

“Please” and “Thank you” to them just as we 
would to other people. We should try to do little 
favors for them without asking. For example, if 
they drop anything we should pick it up. We should 
go upstairs for them, hunt up missing articles and 
do errands. Of course we should always see that 
they have the best seats. 

All these things, too, we should take extra pains 
to do for all elderly people. One of the greatest 
tests of good manners for anyone is how they treat 
elderly people. It makes no difference if elderly 
people are poor, or shabbily dressed; they never 
should be called “that old man,” or “that old 
woman.” Every one of us will be old some day if 
we live long enough, and every really courteous 
person is kind and polite to elderly people. Guid¬ 
ing a feeble or timid elderly person across a street 
or helping such a person on a car, or carrying a 
heavy bundle for one who is not strong, are worthy 
deeds. 

Boys have many opportunities to perform little 
courtesies to girls and women. They are expected, 
except in games, to give way to girls and women 
out of respect. Men are stronger than women, so a 
man is expected to give up his seat whenever a 
woman is standing. A boy should see that a girl 
has first turn whenever there is a chance. No boy 
or man with any manliness would hurry, push or 
fuel 


Little Everyday Courtesies 

grab to get ahead of a girl or woman. That would 
be cowardly, for, with his extra strength, it would 
be taking unfair advantage, as well as showing lack 
of respect and courtesy. It is not being a “sissy” to 
be polite to girls and women, to tip one’s hat when 
one meets them or offer to carry heavy things for 
them. It is just everyday courtesy expected in 
civilized places. A boy does not have to play with 
girls, or hang around them all the time to be polite; 
but whenever he does meet them, he should take 
pains to observe the little courtesies. All great men 
are famous for their kindness and thoughtfulness 
of women. Abraham Lincoln was noted for his 
kindness and politeness to women and old people 
and any who were poor or suffering. 

If you are a boy, be courteous to women and 
girls. Raise your hat when you greet them. Stand 
aside for them to pass out of a doorway first. Carry 
heavy bundles for them. 

If you are a girl, receive the attentions of boys 
politely. Always say, “Thank you,” distinctly, so 
they can hear you, whenever boys have done favors 
for you, such as opening doors, carrying parcels or 
handing you something you may have dropped. 

Girls have the same chance to show courtesy to 
older people that boys have. It is especially their 
part to be kind and thoughtful of the sick, crippled 
or poor. They also should take pains to be cour- 


The Courtesy Book 

teous to one another. Just because a girl is one’s 
sister or best friend is no reason for being thought¬ 
less or saying things to hurt her feelings. Many 
girls who are polite to everyone else are very im¬ 
polite to their own sisters, and even their brothers, 
especially if they are younger. That shows selfish¬ 
ness and bad breeding. If you do not practice 
good manners at home, you will not be at ease in 
company. 

Another thing that both girls and women need 
to be more polite about is thanking boys and men, 
whenever they show them courtesy. It is just as 
rude to omit saying “Thank you,” when a man or 
boy gives up his seat on the street car, as it would 
be for him not to tip his hat and say, “Won’t you 
have my seat?” 

Whenever a boy brings a girl anything like 
candy, flowers or a book, she thanks him, of course. 
He thanks her for letting him take her places, 
dance, skate or walk with her. If she has had a good 
time, it is polite for her to say so. 

In entering the home of friends, we should first 
of all greet our host and hostess. Both boys and 
girls thank their hostess at any entertainment for 
the good time they have had. 

Boys ask girls for permission to escort them to 
places or to come and see them. It is not proper 
for a girl to telephone a boy. 

[ 118 ] 


Little Everyday Courtesies 

When visiting or calling upon friends, or at a 
party, it is not good form to lounge or rock, or to 
tip the chair in any way. Girls should not cross 
their knees. Boys should not elevate their feet. 
Do not swing the feet nor shuffle them. 

Hands should be quiet unless occupied. 

When older people are present, leave the most 
comfortable chairs for them and wait for them to 
be seated before you sit down. 

Avoid passing directly in front of anyone. If 
obliged to do so, apologize. 

Girls should not kiss or embrace each other in 
company or on the street. 

Do not slight anyone because of plainness or 
poverty. 

Do not look down upon people who are in 
humble circumstances. 

Do not seek the favor of people who are rich or 
socially prominent. 

Do not fail in courtesy to people who are dull or 
unfortunate in any way. 

In case of illness or accident, be quick to offer 
your help. 

A good way to cultivate good manners and to 
overcome awkwardness and self-consciousness is 
always to think of others instead of yourself. 

Can you name some everyday courtesies that 
should not be forgotten? 

[119] 


The Courtesy Book 

Points to Remember 

Courtesy requires 

Polite attentions to elderly people. 

Special consideration from men and boys to 
women and girls. 

Kindness and thoughtfulness for the sick, crip¬ 
pled and poor from all. 

Thanks for all favors. 


Hearts, like doors, will ope with ease 
To very, very little keys; 

And don’t forget that two of these 

Are “Thank you, sir,” and “If you please.” 


[ 120 ] 



THE COURTESY OF PUNCTUALITY 


Do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. 

* —Franklin 


W HAT does punctuality mean? Yes, being 
on time instead of being late. Why is it 
impolite to be late? Because it makes 
trouble for people, and it is never courteous to in¬ 
convenience others. If we are late in keeping an 
appointment, say, with friends, we may worry them 
by causing them to think some accident has befallen 
us. Again, we commit the double fault of making 
them late also, and so inconvenience more people, 
in an endless chain. If we are late in meeting peo¬ 
ple who are inviting us to some entertainment we 
[ 121 ] 













The Courtesy Book 

are discourteous, when they are taking time to give 
us pleasure. 

When we are late at business appointments, it 
serves us right if some one else gets ahead of us. For 
example, when a dentist gives us an hour and we 
don’t make a point of arriving just on the hour, 
somebody else probably has been promised the next 
hour. Then if we come along, we can’t expect to 
take the later hour, just because we were late for 
our own. Usually the best the dentist can do is to 
give us a new appointment, perhaps a whole week 
later. But of course that forces the dentist to give 
us two appointments instead of one, which isn’t fair 
to him. 

Men as a rule are particular about business ap¬ 
pointments. They often judge a person’s character 
by whether or not they are punctual. This is be¬ 
cause punctuality is one form of honesty. How, 
do you think? Well, in the first place, if we agree 
to meet a person at a certain hour and fail to do so 
without letting them know that we can’t keep the 
appointment, we are breaking our word. Break¬ 
ing a promise and failing to keep our word is just 
exactly the same as telling a lie, if we do not have 
a reasonable excuse to give when we apologize 
for inconveniencing the other person. In the 
second place, it is not fair nor honest to break an 
appointment carelessly and then apologize after- 
[ 122 ] 


The Courtesy of Punctuality 

ward, thinking that excuses our fault—because we 
have taken the other person’s time. And this one 
may have kept the appointment and lost time wait¬ 
ing for us, when he or she might have been doing 
something else far more enjoyable or worth while. 

In business time is considered money. If we 
waste somebody else’s time by breaking an appoint¬ 
ment, it is really almost like stealing something 
from them. That is why business men expect 
honest people to keep their appointments, if they 
are square and businesslike. Young people who 
are employed should remember that promotion and 
success often depend upon this form of courtesy. 
Girls and women who are not in business should 
remember to be punctual when they have any busi¬ 
ness appointment. Being punctual is the courte¬ 
ous and considerate thing in business dealings. 

Sometimes we forget that appointments for les¬ 
sons should be kept just as punctually as going to a 
party or an entertainment. If we are late for a mu¬ 
sic, French or dancing lesson, for instance, we should 
not expect to have the full time, because this would 
make the next person’s lesson later through no fault 
or his or her own. If we miss the lesson altogether 
it is only fair to pay just the same, because the 
teacher has saved this time especially for us and 
cannot do anything else with the time because we 
have engaged it for ourselves. If forced to lose the 
[ 123 ] 


The Courtesy Booh 


lesson, we must notify our teacher as soon as pos¬ 
sible, so that she can use the time in some other 
way. 

At parties, it is quite a fad to be late. Some silly 
people are afraid of “being the first there!” But 
just think, if every guest invited failed to arrive 
until a half hour after the hour named in the invita¬ 
tion, the whole party would be late and this would 
be unfair to those who invited us. 

You see, being late is one way of being selfish or 
dishonest. So, to be considerate and fair to others, 
we must try to be punctual at all times, if we are 
going to be truly courteous. 

Can you think of some times that being late 
would make trouble for others? 

Points to Remember 

Punctuality is courtesy. 

Punctuality saves us from loss. 

Punctuality is a form of honesty. 

Punctuality is necessary to success in business. 
Punctuality is necessary in social life too. 

We may be judged by our punctuality or the lack 
of it. 


[ 124 ] 


INDEX 


INDEX 


Accidents at table, 29 
Ages, do not ask, 62 
Answering questions, 13, 76 
Apologize, when to, 107, 108, 109; 
how to, 107, 108; who should, 
109 

Apology, what is an? 107 
Appointments, not keeping, 122; 

what to do, 124 
Arguing, 23 
Assembly, in the, 45 
Attention in conversation, 18 
Awkward, the person who is, 54 
Awkwardness, to overcome, 119 

Bathing suit, when to wear, 66 
Boasters laughed at, 72 
Boys and girls judged, 21; cour¬ 
tesies due from, 116, 117 
Braggart avoided, 72 
Bragging, people who do it, 71; 

courtesy does not permit, 73 
Bread, how to eat, 25 
Bundles, carrying, 77 
Business appointments, 122; 

punctuality in keeping, 123 
Business firms tell help to be 
polite, 101 

Business hours, visiting during, 
58 

Business man, calling on a, 57 

Call, 118; evening, 83 
Callers invited to a meal, 90 
Cheerfulness is courage, 113 
Civility in business, 60 
Church, how to behave at, 41 
Clerk in store, consideration for, 
103; helpful, 104 
Clothes, best, time to wear, 64, 
65 

Clothes, handsome, expensive, 65 


Cold, what to do if one has a, 
26 

Company manners, 53 
Compass, points of, use in giv¬ 
ing direetions, 101 
Conductor on street car, do not 
talk to, 39; do not argue with, 
40 

Contradict, never, 17 
Conversation at table, 29 
Correspondence, polite forms of, 
96 

Courteous manner, what it is, 11 
Courteous people, always have 
good manners, 53 
Courtesy, what it is, 12; a test 
of character, 67 

Creditors, courtesy to, Lincoln’s 
rule, 60 

Cripples, courtesy to, 37 
Criticism, a blunder, 82 
Curiosity prevents courtesy, 61 

Deformity, do not laugh at, 38; 

do not appear to notice, 40 
Directions, giving, a test of 
courtesy, 99 

Disagreeable things, do not tell 
guest, 81 

Dispute, never, 17 
Door, hold open for lady, 76 
Dress, at school, 65; good taste 
in, 66, 67 

Elderly people, 12; courtesy to, 
37; assistance to, 76; treat¬ 
ment of a test of good man¬ 
ners, 116 

Encore, how to, a number on a 
program, 34 

Errands, for older people, 76; 
for parents, 116 


[ 126 ] 


Index 


Excels, boy or girl who, must re¬ 
member manners, 43 

Fails, one who, must remember 
manners, 43 

Failures, do not laugh at, 18 
Family aflPairs, do not discuss, 63 
Favors, doing, 76; how to do, 76; 
doing for reward, 77, 100; fail¬ 
ure to do, 100 

Fares, on street cars, do not 
argue about, 40 

Feelings, showing, when angry or 
unhappy,111 
Finger nails, care of, 67 

Games, play and enjoy, 86 
“Get otf the line” not a polite 
way to ask for telephone, 50 
Gloves, usage concerning, 68, 69 
Golden Rule, courtesy, applied 
to questions, 62 

Good manners come from good 
feeling, 100 

Good sport, be a, 43, 86 
Gossip, 39 
Grace, saying, 27 
Greetings, courteous, 13, 83 
Guest at single meal, 28; takes 
courtesy to be a, 85; ill-bred, 
87; offering help, 87 

Help, thoughtful person offers 
when needed, 76 
Home, what kind of, pupils come 
from, 44 

Hospitable, it is, to offer a guest 
the best, 79 

Hostess, how to treat, 86, 87; 
well-bred will make no fuss, 
29; aim of, 82 

Indian braves hide their feelings, 
113 

Indifferent, being, 22 
Interrupted, no one should be, 
16 

Introductions, how to give, 81, 
82; rules for, 83 


Invitations, courtesy of, 89; 
forms of, 89, 90; accepting and 
declining, 93, 94; replies to, 94, 
95; specimen, 92, 95 

Jewelry, what and when to wear, 
68 

Jewels, kings, and queens wear 
rarely, 68 

Keeping one’s word, 22 
Knife and fork, 27; knives and 
forks, 28 

Late comers in an audience, 32 
Lessons, appointments for, 123 
Lincoln’s rule, see Creditors; 
sayings of, 99; noted for po¬ 
liteness, 117 

Listen, do not, when not ex¬ 
pected to, 63 

Looking curiously, shows bad 
breeding, 63 

Luggage, carrying for elders, 12 
Lunches, not to be eaten in 
schoolroom, 44 

Man, every real, scorns to show 
grief, 113 

Manners in public, 31 
Mending, girls careless about, 67 
Misfortune, do not laugh at, 38 
Mistakes, not to be laughed at, 
18, 38, 44 

Modesty what it does, 72 
Money, people we owe, 59 
Money affairs, do not ask about, 
62 

Nails, finger, 67 

Older people, how to treat, 21; 
at table, 26; courtesy to, 115 

Paderewski rebukes late comers, 
33 

Parcels dropped, to be picked 
up, 38 

Parents, obedience to, 20; cour¬ 
tesy to, 115 


[ 127 ] 


Index 


Perfume, use of, 69 
Playground on the, 46 
Point, do not, 38 
Politeness a habit, 38 
Popular, boys and girls who are, 
112 

Powder pulf, use of in public, 69 
Private affairs, do not talk about 
over telephone, 50 
Punctuality, reasons for, 121; 
failure in, may cause loss, 122; 
a form of honesty, 122; pro¬ 
motion may depend upon, 123; 
for private lessons, 123 
“Put-on” manners, 53 

Quarreling, 24 
Quarrels in families, 54 
Question, politeness does not 
permit us to, 72 
Questions, what kind are not im¬ 
polite, 62 

Questions, improper, need not be 
answered, 63 

Receiver, of telephone, do not 
click to get line, 50 
“Regrets,” to send, 96 
Rewards for favors, 77 
Room, the way to enter a, 12 
R. S. V. P. on an invitation, 96, 
98 

Rule of the road, the, 45 

Sacred things, reverence for, 41 
Salt, how to use, 29 
Second helping, 28 
Self-consciousness, 119 
Self-control to be learned, 24 
Selfishness, makes us impolite, 23 
Share your pleasures with your 
guest, 81 


Show off, people who, 71; to try 
to, before guests, 81 
Showing off our manners, 55 
Shopping, behavior when, 103 
Shopper, selfish, 106 
Slang, avoid, 82 
Soup, how to take, 28 
Stare, do not, 38 
Stoics hide their feelings, 112 
Stranger asking questions, 76 

Table manners, 27, 28 
Teacher, how to address, 42 
Telephone talk, courtesy of, 48 
Telephone, right way to, 48; 

courtesy on the, 56 
Thoroughbred, 55 
Telephoning about business, 59 
Thanks for courtesy, 38 
Thoughtful person, a, offers help, 
76 

Time considered money, 123 
Toilet, make it in private, 69 
Topics to be avoided, 19 
Transfers, on street cars, do not 
argue about, 40 
Troubles, do not tell them, 80 

Unselfishness, real courtesy, 63 
Vanity case, use of, in public, 69 
Visiting, courtesy in, 86 
Visitor, a courteous, 86 
Voice, tone of, 11; pitch of, in 
telephoning, 51 

Washington’s courtes}% 143 
Well-bred people at table, 26 
Welcome to guest, 80 
What to talk about, 17 
Wrangling, 24 

Wrong number, on the telephone, 
48 


[ 128 ] 
























































































































